


Free to live, free to love

by larrycaring



Category: Lady Midnight, One Direction (Band), Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: (drink with moderation kids), AU, Alcohol, Alicante (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Demon Hunters, Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Shadowhunter Chronicles Fusion, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angels, Book 1: Lady Midnight, Declarations Of Love, Demon Hunters, Demons, Denial of Feelings, Dorks in Love, Downworlders, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fights, Forbidden Love, Friendship/Love, Hunter Training, I'm tagging it just in case!!!, Idris (Shadowhunter Chronicles), LOUISANDHARRY ARE PARABATAI, London Institute, LouisandHarry and the rest of the boys are demon hunters basically, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Magic-Users, Magical Realism, Magical Tattoos, Minor Character Death, Nephilim, Niall is a faerie, P.-S.: Zayn is my baby in this fic and he must be protected at all costs, PSA: YOU CAN READ THIS FIC WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT THE SHADOWHUNTERS WORLD, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Ceremony, Parabatai Feels, Party, Partying, Sort of I guess?, Supernatural Elements, The Clave (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Then, Training, True Love, Vampires, Zayn is a Downworlder, a bit of, because obviously they're soulmates, more precisely a vampire, parabatai ritual, shadowhunters au, soul mates, there's a little bit of mention of blood?, they always knew they were in love let's be real, twin flames, warlock Nick Grimshaw, warlock Rita Ora, you're welcome:)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrycaring/pseuds/larrycaring
Summary: “Harry, by the Angel. You never imagined anything. Of course, I feel the same about you, you idiot. I wanted,want, so much more, but I was content with what we had if it meant having nothing at all otherwise. I want more, I really do, but—”“We can’t,” Harry finishes sadly, knowing what he means. They both do. “We would be cursed.”Louis recalls the famous parabatai lovers legend.A long time ago, a parabatai pair fell in love, and attempted to be together. But then, something terrible happened. Because of that tragic love story, it was said something ominous would always happen, that this tragedy will repeat itself if two parabatai were to ever fall in love.It was said they would be cursed."Parabatai is a pair of Nephilim (aka Shadowhunters, a race of beings who are humans born with angelic blood) warriors who fight together as lifelong partners, bound together by oath, regardless of their gender. Their bond is not reflected only in their closeness and willingness to lay down their lives for one another, but also in oath.”or Louis and Harry are parabatai but it is against the law to fall in love with your parabatai.They still fall in love.





	Free to live, free to love

**Author's Note:**

> So............ Basically, a while, while ago I read all the Shadowhunter books within a few weeks, and I totally fell in love with the universe? So, _of course_ , I had to write a Larry Shadowhunter/Parabatai AU.
> 
> You can read this fanfiction without having read the books, or seen the TV show. I tried to separate the Larry universe from the books. I don't want to spoil people who haven't read everything, or confuse people who haven't read the books at all. However, I did make a little reference to some character from the books at some point, so kudos to those who'll notice it.
> 
> I took some liberty with the mode of transport. In the book series, the characters use a Portal to travel, but they can only use it if they precisely know the destination they're going to. I like to think they've found a way since then, to portal to a place by just thinking of a person, you know?
> 
> Also, some descriptions of the London Institute are not my own. I quoted some stuff from the books themselves, so this is entirely Cassandra Clare's work.
> 
>  
> 
> So copyright to Cassandra Clare for writing this universe. Also, unfortunately, or thankfully, I do not own One Direction.
> 
> I’d just like to add that I haven’t read the second book of the Lady Midnight series, so I have no idea how Cassandra decided to approach the forbidden love thing between parabatai in her universe. I didn’t read the second book because I didn’t want to be influenced for this fic.
> 
> Thank you also my dear Liz (twitter: [@Dont_Stop_Larry](https://twitter.com/Dont_Stop_Larry) // AO3: [Dont_Stop_Larry](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Dont_Stop_Larry)), as always, for being an awesome dedicated beta.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Louis' sister is getting bonded to her best friend tomorrow. Iggy is going to have a parabatai. 

It's not a big deal... Okay, it is. One can only choose a parabatai once. The ritual can only be performed once, and it's a forever kind of thing. Plus, most Shadowhunters never have a parabatai, like Louis' brother, Max, for instance. So if you find one, you really are fortunate. And Louis knows it. Finding someone worthy of becoming your parabatai is a blessing, an honour. 

Louis remembers, two years ago, when he was only 15, and 14-year-old Harry Styles came to him, asking him to be his parabatai. It didn't take long for Louis to agree. He and Harry have been attached at the hip as far as Louis can remember. It was always _LouisandHarry_. They did everything together, experienced their first fight together, pulled practical jokes together - they were simply good together. So becoming parabatai? That was a no-brainer to them, and to everyone else.

Harry brings thoughtfulness and wisdom to Louis, and Louis brings Harry wit and ambitiousness. They complete each other. They are best friends, they understand each other perfectly without even saying anything, so of course it was only natural for them to become parabatai, to reinforce their bond, to become one, to lay down their lives for the other, to be united in battle as their parabatai rune was placed upon their skin, to allow them to draw on each other's strength, to maintain a strong connection between one another and to be able to sense each other's life force.

It felt weird at first, after the ritual, but they quickly got used to it. If they were close before, then as parabatai, they became only closer, stronger. Their friendship and love for each other were enhanced, and eventually, Louis started asking himself some questions. Questions that he should try not to think about too much.

“I’m so nervous about tomorrow,” Iggy sighs as she flops down in the armchair facing Louis’.

They are sitting in front of the giant fireplace, the two armchairs facing each other in the drawing room. This room is probably one of Louis’, and also Iggy’s, favourites. When they were younger, Louis used to spend most of his Saturday evenings there with Iggy, under their blanket fort, reading books until they'd fall asleep and their parents had to carry them to bed. He is kind of nostalgic of those times. 

Looking at her now, Louis realises how fast Iggy has grown up. She is almost as tall as him, and yet she's only 14 years old. Her long, straight honey hair is tied in two tight braids, and her face is covered in makeup, lips shining with the newest pink gloss their brother Max bought for her when he visited from London.

Louis had grown so used to the London Institute, that he forgot how cosy and quiet it is here, at the York Institute. This place is home, where he grew up with his parents, Mike and Sally Tomlinson, who are the heads of this York Institute. It is not the largest, not by far, not like the London Institute, but still.

It’s home.

Louis had learned how to walk among these walls, had tons of races in these corridors with his sisters. He had also fallen so many times, in the corridor, in the stairwell, everywhere. He’d had so many little fights with his brother Max here, so many training sessions in the training room... Yes, Louis had shared a lot of memories here, with his family residing here, but also with Harry, his best friend, his parabatai. 

The thought of Harry sends a pang through Louis' chest. He hasn't seen Harry in weeks, because it was Christmas and everyone was off at their families' - Louis had come home from London to spend the holidays with his parents. He didn't know if it was just the distance or what, but he felt like he was missing something, his other part. He missed Harry. But hey, it’s never good to be separated for too long from your parabatai. He cannot wait to see Harry again.

Tomorrow, Louis will be back in London, back to his friends, and back to Harry.

And back for Iggy's parabatai ritual. Right, he’s in the middle of an important conversation right now.

Louis clears his throat and closes the book he was reading, crossing his legs. “Don’t be nervous, it’ll be okay.”

“I know, I know,” Iggy sighs again, shaking her head. “The Silent Brothers... They just creep me out, still.”

Ah, the Silent Brothers.

They are the powerful group of ancient Shadowhunters, and they serve as archivists and medics of the Louis’ people: the Nephilim - more commonly known as Shadowhunters. Though the Silent Brothers are part of their daily life, it is quite hard not to be spooked by them... partially because they seem so commanding, standing tall and silent in every room they entered, and partially because of their mutilated faces.

Louis used to be terrified, to be quite honest. He even had nightmares when he was a kid. He would see darkness and human bones, and he'd notice pale faces emerging from the obscurity, with stitches on their mouth and no eyes, just blank spaces where their flesh once was...

And it might or might not be Louis’ fault if Iggy is still afraid of them.

When she was being naughty as a kid, he always told her to behave or else he'd call the Silent Brother and they'd take her to the Silent City — the residence of the Silent Brothers — and she'd be imprisoned in the lowest level of the city, in the prison, for the rest of her life. (Needless to say, his mother grounded Louis when she learned about his intimidating tactics.)

“I'm just glad to be back at the Academy tomorrow,” Iggy continues, stopping Louis from wandering into his grim thoughts.

The Shadowhunter Academy is a school for Shadowhunters-in-training, in a city called Idris. You're generally sent there from age 12 to pursue your training. The curriculum there is advanced, with classes to reinforce skills in fighting, to learn how to speak languages such as the demonic Chthonian, and to be marked up with runes. Louis already went there, and he is now training at the London Institute, alongside his brother, who’s currently head of the London Institute, to Louis’ parent’s pride.

Louis misses the Academy. It was nice. He had many memories there with his friends, with Harry...

Louis shakes his head. “And I am eager to head back to the London Institute,” he replies, thrilled. Then, “I can’t wait to go back to hunting demons,” he finishes with a fake sarcastic joy. 

Hunting demons is basically the job of Shadowhunters, the top priority, their civic duty... Their role is to protect the humans from them, or as they call them: mundanes. After all, Louis and his people are the warriors of the Angel Raziel. They control and preside over the Shadow World. They have marks, these runes, on their skin, provide them several skills important in their fight. And Louis knows it’s important, what they’re doing…

But... sometimes... It is tiring.

Louis is young, the night is young, and sometimes, he wishes he could just have a day without being interrupted by his cellphone, his parabatai yelling on the other line that he needs you on Victoria Road to hunt down a demon that has decided to kill everything and everyone. But of course he could never turn Harry down. Wherever Harry was, he would go. Forever. 

“I cannot wait either!” His sister exclaims happily, apparently not catching his sarcasm. “Me and Vicky are going to be even stronger once we're bonded. People are gonna be envious of us at school.”

Louis huffs a fond laugh.

He remembers the first time he and Harry experienced their first fight with a demon together. It is definitely not the same thing as training together.

Because out there, you have the rush of emotions, the adrenaline, but mainly: the danger. Everything goes too fast, but with your parabatai by your side, you know what to do. You move in synchronisation, and everything just fits and falls perfectly. It’s like they’d never feel more alive and in symbiosis, during those moments.

Thinking of Harry again makes Louis' heart clench. The worst thing about Harry being home, is that he is in Idris, also known as the home country of the Shadowhunters, a sanctuary hidden from mundanes. The country is located in Central Europe, between Germany, France and Switzerland.

And because of the wardings placed around the country, and all of its borders to protect the city against demons, it is impossible to use technology there.

Which means, Louis and Harry haven't been able to get in touch for weeks.

Sure, they sent a few fire messages to each other for Christmas, Louis' birthday, and New Year's Eve... But it's not the same.

It's a little bit unnerving, not to be able to constantly speak with Harry... be with Harry.

A few minutes pass without another word, and when Louis notices that his sister is staring at him with a sly smile, Louis moves in his seat. “What?” he asks, frowning in confusion.

Iggy snorts, rolling her eyes. “You're rubbing your parabatai rune again.” She peers at him over her reading glasses. “You have been doing that a lot lately.” She squints her eyes, apparently not ready to drop the subject. “Is that because you miss Harry? Is that how it feels when you're away from your parabatai?”

Louis' frown deepens, and he immediately stops his gesture. He lowers his hand, which was indeed rubbing his rune on his collarbone, while the other hand was tearing down the shirt to display the parabatai rune. He really hadn’t noticed he had been rubbing it with his thumb.

He clears his throat, letting go of his shirt to cover his mark. “Yeah, probably,” he answers his first question, but he isn't sure himself.

Iggy doesn't push it.

Later on, as he's about to go to bed, Louis inspects himself shirtless in the mirror of his bedroom, caressing his red mark: the friendship and combine rune. It is no different to the touch. The rune has always been a part of him, and always will be. It is a permanent rune, that he'll carry until he's dead. A similar rune is on Harry's right upper arm, the same mark, and the same bond.

It is a strange thing, when you think about it. The bond is forever, like, the other person is _literally_ part of your own soul.

And it's scary.

It's scary because Louis and Harry always liked each other a lot, and... If Louis dares to be honest, he _loves_ Harry.

He loves him so much that he completely freaked out when they became parabatai, because his love for Harry was, like... Amplified.

But the thing is?

Parabatai cannot fall in love.

It is against The Law.

That's why Louis promised himself something: to never, ever, say anything to Harry or show his true feelings.

He'll just have to be a good parabatai, and hope that his feelings will eventually go away.

Louis doesn’t know who he is kidding.

****

******** **

As soon as Louis and his sister step through the Portal and arrive in their brother’s office, they're being crushed in a tight hug by him.

“Honestly, Max,” Louis yelps, trying to untangle himself while trying not to drop his bag, without great success. “It's not like you haven't seen us in forever! You were at home two days ago!”

The young man chuckles and releases his grip, beaming at his youngest siblings. “Quit pretending those times spent without me wasn't tough, Boo Bear. I know you've missed me!”

Iggy giggles and bounces excitedly on her feet, looking up at her brother under her eyelashes. “Is Vicky back from Idris, then?”

Max nods. “Yes, she actually got back twenty minutes ago—” He doesn't even time to finish the sentence before Iggy is off, slamming the door of Max’s office as she goes out.

“I don't remember being this excited on the day of my ritual,” Louis mumbles, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

His brother shrugs his shoulder with a face. “I wouldn't know, I never had a parabatai ritual.”

Louis gives him a lopsided smile, and he’s saved from replying when the door opens and Liam appears at the doorway, grinning at him. “Welcome back, Tommo!” 

Louis beams back at his friend, and Max claps his brother on the shoulder before Louis joins Liam, making their way to Louis' room as they catch up with each other. He missed Liam.

“How was Idris?” Louis inquires on the way, genuinely curious. Iggy was supposed to go to the Academy there immediately, but of course she first had to take some stuff from her room at the London Institute. _Girls..._ Louis thinks with a sigh.

“Boring,” Liam answers flatly. “Really,” he adds at Louis' side eye look. “I missed Elenya.”

Elenya Egorov is a Shadowhunter of their age from the Russian Institute. She is now living at the London Institute, to see how things work in a different Institute. Her parents are important people from the Clave.

The Clave is the collective name for the political body made up of all Shadowhunters. Their role is to basically make decisions regarding important matters, although the final decisions are always made by the Council, which is the governing body of the Clave.

The Council always writes the Laws, to which Shadowhunters and Downworlders (werewolves, vampires, warlocks and faeries) must abide. And Shadowhunters? Well, they must do their job, ensuring that _everyone_ respects the Laws.

As Louis once said, it is a pretty tiring job.

“And I missed Harry,” Louis sighs exaggeratedly, although he does mean it. “Where is he, by the way?”

“Unpacking his stuff in his room, most likely,” Liam replies with a shrug as they stop in front of Louis' door. He claps Louis on the shoulder. “I'll see you later, yeah? I have a date with Elenya.” With that, he walks away and finger guns at Louis, earning a chuckle from the latter.

_It must be nice,_ Louis thinks. _To have a public relationship with someone you can actually have._

He shakes his head to chase away his thoughts.

_Now is not the time_.

He opens his door and drops his bag on the floor. He only has time to close the door behind him before two strong arms find their way around his neck, and Louis is squeezed into a tight embrace, much like the one he just got in his brother's office.

“Harry,” Louis breathes out, smiling wide despite himself.

Because of course, the mop of curls in his mouth belongs to Harry, of course the sweet honey smell is Harry's odour, and of course these familiar, quite strong arms belongs to Harry. And of course, Louis automatically wraps his arms around his parabatai's waist, returning the embrace without hesitation.

They hug each other for a few more seconds, slightly swinging together on the spot with soft chuckles, before they finally part away, and Louis is greeted with that familiar dimpled smile that always brightens his days.

“I thought you were unpacking in your room,” Louis says without dropping his smile. “That’s what Liam told me at least.”

Harry nods with a grin. “I finished a few minutes ago, but... I wanted to surprise you!”

Louis walks around Harry to sit on his bed (mainly so that he can hide the satisfied smile on his face). When he sits and looks back at Harry, he hopes he has managed to display a somewhat calm expression.

“Successful surprise,” Louis exclaims, raising his right wrist in the air. “How was Idris?” he inquires, just like he did with Liam a seconds ago.

And just like Liam did, Harry shrugs, putting his hands in his pocket jeans. “It was all right... The grandparents were happy to see my family and me,” he pauses, arching an eyebrow at Louis. “It snowed a bit, so Liam and I managed to build a small snowman. Look!” His enthusiasm is adorably funny, but then again, Louis understands it. The weather in Idris is always so beautiful, and it is rare when it snows there.

Harry pockets out his phone and holds it out to Louis, who takes it to admire Harry and Liam's work of art.

Louis tries to bite back a snort. “Such a shame I wasn't there to level up this competition of snowman,” he finally says, looking pointedly at Harry and then glancing back at the picture. “Because, frankly, this is horrendous.”

Harry’s grin disappears, and he scowls his face, snatching the phone off Louis' hands and pouting at him. “You know, I actually really didn’t miss you.”

“Oh, you didn’t?” Louis mock-gasps, then chuckles as he lies down on his bed, perched on his elbows. 

Harry doesn’t answer at that, staring down at Louis. It’s like a silent staring contest has suddenly begun between the two of them. (In this short moment, Louis imagines himself pulling Harry down on top of him, and they'd kiss and giggle against each other's mouth. But... They can't do that. Even if Louis wishes they could.)

“Iggy!” Harry blurts out suddenly, and Louis arches an eyebrow at his sister's name. “I mean, erm—” Harry shakes his head, cheeks reddening and eyes suddenly fixed on the ground. Sometimes, Harry does little things like that, and Louis wonders if, maybe — just maybe — Harry feels the same way he does. “Is she ready for tomorrow?” Harry asks, eyes back on Louis.

Louis is ashamed to admit that, for one moment, he completely forgot what is happening tomorrow. Then he shakes his head and sits up, hands on his lap. “Erm, yeah,” he says slowly, then clears his throat, looking down at his legs. “Yeah, she... She’s ready. Pretty excited, too.” He looks back at Harry. “Can relate.”

Harry smiles softly. “Yeah,” he whispers as an answer, mind probably already bringing up his memories of their own ritual. “That was something.” 

Louis nods.

He remembers every single detail of their parabatai ceremony. He remembers the three rings of fire on the ground (two for the individuals, and a third one in the middle that will serve as the shared ring) symbolising their union as parabatai.

He remembers saying out loud his oath to Harry, swearing to always protect each other, be there for each other, to lay down his life for him. And he remembers touching Harry's skin with one hand, the other one curving the parabatai rune on Harry's smooth skin as Harry did the same to him. 

Absentmindedly, Louis caresses his mark, and he immediately stops as soon as he realises what he's doing. He quickly looks up to Harry, to see if the boy noticed it, but Harry's eyes are actually glued to his phone screen.

“I am, erm, attending a party tonight,” Harry says Louis, looking back at him. “Erm, I have to get ready. You wanna come?” he proposes, a shy smile on his lips.

Usually, Louis would take any opportunity to spend time with Harry.

But Louis also attended enough parties with Harry's odd circle of friends to know that the warlock Nick Grimshaw would probably be there, as he always is. Since, you know, he is the host of the party tonight, so it seems normal for him to be there.

But the thing is...

Louis hates Nick. Not because the guy is a Downworlder, a warlock with demon blood, but because... Nick is Nick.

And by the Angel, Louis hates his guts. That warlock is an annoying piece of shit, always making a pass at Harry, always flirting with him, and Harry doesn't even push him away. He just lets him, and the more Nick insists, the more Louis has to control his impulse not to pull out his angel blade and cut Nick's head off right here and there.

Sadly, Nick is a quite respected and useful warlock in London, and since he hasn't committed any crime whatsoever, Louis can't really kill him without a good reason. He wishes he could. (Okay, so Louis might be very jealous of Nick.)

“No, I'll pass,” Louis replies, waving his hand and standing up to focus on the task of unpacking. He doesn't see Harry's smile drop, but he hears the disappointment in Harry's voice.

“Okay... See you later then, Lou.” 

“Yeah, later.”

When he glances up at Harry, the curly haired boy only hesitates a second, frowning at Louis, before leaving the room. Louis wonders what he was thinking.

Louis may later regret his choice of not going, but for now, he thinks he's made the right decision to spare himself. He doesn’t really want to witness Nick's stupid attempts to get into Harry's pants. _Ugh._ Louis shudders. He should not be having these kinds of odious thoughts.

And so that's why, later on, Louis goes to see the only person that can take his mind off his love life issue.

The enormous house still looks very old-fashioned and in rather poor condition, but somehow, it feels reassuring. It’s familiar, almost home-ish. Louis knows the owner of the mansion doesn't even bother with the dead plants in the large ward, and that each room of the interior is painted in different dark colours. He also knows that the proprietor is proud of this place because the house was once featured in a TV show.

You would think vampires would usually be enthralled with more exciting things, especially when they have been alive for years, even decades, but apparently not. Or maybe Zayn Malik is just different. (He is kind of an odd bloke, even for a vampire. But after all, what does know Louis about vampires anyway?)

Louis is about to lift the metal ring on the door to knock when the door opens, an old man dressed in the typical butler outfit, well-cut suit and tie and decent black trousers, appears in front of Louis. 

“Mister Tomlinson,” Jefferson Jamison greets with an affectionate smile. 

Louis likes this old chap, and he knows Zayn is fond of him too, since he'd taken the man under his wing when Jefferson was only an 8-year-old boy, abandoned in the street. That was about sixty-four years ago. Jefferson is one of the only people for whom Zayn really shows his true self... his gentle and caring side. Louis is another of these lucky people. (Because if Zayn is a feared and mysterious vampire to everybody else, Louis knows better. He can see through the façade.)

“Please, come in.” Jeff backs away, and Louis walks in, smiling at the butler, who takes Louis' coat, leaving Louis in his short-sleeved shirt. He shudders, the coldness of the place hitting him. Vampires don't get cold, and apparently Zayn isn’t keen on turning the heat on. The place is freezing.

Louis finds the vampire in the huge living room, sprayed on his red divan, sipping a drink. Louis has no doubt it's blood mixed with wine, knowing Zayn's taste. The darkened-skin boy is wearing a pair of black leggings, a blouse and a pair of embroidered vintage brown shoes. His favourite long black coat is laid on an armchair. His hair is cut short this time, not as long as Louis saw him wear it last time. Zayn's favourite golden earrings shine bright when he turns his head toward Louis, taking his eyes off the fire he was staring at.

Louis wonders what kind of thoughts Zayn has in mind, when he lies there, watching the fire, with so many memories to think about when he has lived for such a long time.

Does an immortal person ever remember everything? Do they forget some things, some souvenirs they are glad to forget, or on the contrary, are they frustrated when they don't remember? Do they think of the old good days? How life is strange and how it changes over the years? Do they let their thoughts wander to the people they knew and lost? Do they ever get tired of living forever, to watch everyone else die while they remain on this earth?

And what is it like, especially when you are turned so young, to stay forever young and beautiful? Because vampires certainly are beautiful, Louis can’t deny it. They’re... captivating, too. That was one of the first things that struck Louis when he first met Zayn. That, and the fact that he also was a vampire, a Child of the Night, a species of Downworlders. Despite that fact, Louis became easy friends with the vampire.

“I can hear your praises about me in your head, Louis,” says Zayn with his deep and raspy voice. “Please, do compliment me out loud, you know I like to hear how good you think I look.”

His big brown eyes are shining with amusement as they follow Louis' movement as the Shadowhunter sits down on the armchair. Zayn looks like a predator tracking his prey. Louis should be scared, but he knows Zayn would never touch him without his consent. Besides, he seems rather content with his drink in his hands. At least, Louis hopes so. (Not that Louis would mind if Zayn bit him, but that's another story.)

“You know,” Louis begins casually, resting his hands on his lap. “There was a time where I would have been convinced vampires could read minds. But I am a Shadowhunter, and I know enough about vampires to know that it isn't true. But _you_ , however, should know that I am repulsed by your physical appearance, so no. I wasn't praising you.”

Zayn snorts into his drink, bringing his eyes back to the crackling fire in the fireplace. They both know Louis' words are false. They also both know Zayn is good-looking. But to Louis, Zayn is not that good-looking. In his mind, there is a boy with curly brown hair, emeralds for eyes, pink lips, and dimples that are drastically more attractive and beautiful.

“What are you doing here, Louis?” Zayn inquires, wetting his finger in his drink, then passing it through the border of the glass, producing a high-pitched noise. He must really be bored.

“Do I need a reason to visit an old friend?”

Zayn doesn't answer. He only peers at Louis under his eyelashes. He finishes the rest of his drink in one gulp, and although Louis knows it wasn't probably Zayn's first drink of the night, the vampire seems... hungry.

Louis looks around the room and doesn't see Yuliana Hong. The woman is a maid, who is also Zayn's subjugate. (A mundane kept around for vampire to feed on when they're short on blood). Zayn takes good care of her, but the idea of being a living blood bank to vampires is kind of sickening to Louis. Those people who give willingly their blood like that, are also called “darklings” among vampires, and Louis finds the term quite offensive. (But again, what does he know about vampires.)

Louis smirks and stands up, joining Zayn on his divan. He sits beside Zayn, who stays still, lying down. Louis carefully pries the glass out of the vampire's hands, and Zayn lets him. He makes no sound as Louis leans in, his face closer to Zayn’s as he put the glass down on the nearest table. If Zayn was a human, he would have probably exhaled lowly at the sudden proximity of Louis. Because Louis knows the effect he has on the vampire. He knows him and his body enough to interpret his reactions.

Louis thinks of how Harry would react in this situation. He would probably hold his breath at Louis' sudden nearness, or he would back away, who knows. He would stutter and maybe blush, like he usually does. But a scene of Louis and Harry almost kissing? Louis would never really guess how it’d go.

Instead of a flustering Harry, Zayn remains entirely motionless against him. Instead of heat radiating from his body, Louis feels the coldness, and it makes him shiver, goose bumps appearing on his skin as he wraps an arm around Zayn's neck. Zayn's hair is too short, but if it was Harry, Louis would feel the curls tickling his skin. If it was Harry, Louis would most likely twist a curl around his finger, playing with it while kissing him.

Instead, Louis rests a hand on Zayn's cool cheek, and he just stay stills, breathing against Zayn's mouth. He is slow in his movement, but Louis knows Zayn could abruptly and quickly moves and takes control if he wanted to.

But he doesn’t.

Louis glances up from the vampire's lips, his eyes meeting the brown ones below him, now completely dark with envy. There, he can see the desire and lust. Louis opens his mouth to say something, but then Zayn's raw lips are suddenly on his, two hands seizing Louis' waist and tugging him closer as Louis straddles him.

He breathes in against Zayn's mouth, a sudden moan ripped out of his mouth when Zayn's hips move under him. Louis wonders how Harry would sound, and then he's thinking of what Harry is doing right now, if he's enjoying himself at the party, or worse, if Harry is doing what Louis is doing with Zayn, but with Nick.

“Stop thinking, Louis,” Zayn speaks in an audible whisper. 

So Louis stops thinking.

****

******** **

“Lou, we have a problem.”

Louis groans against his phone, staring at the ceiling. Zayn lits a smoke besides him as he rolls over and props his head up on one elbow, watching the Shadowhunter with a smirk, probably hearing the conversation thanks to his incredible hearing.

“Liam, can it not wait?” Louis whines, because frankly, he was rather happy at the prospect of not leaving Zayn's huge and comfortable bed. A bed that got through the years, and that Zayn would never sell or change, no matter how the condition the wood of his four-poster bed deteriorated.

A cold hand on his abdomen makes Louis jump and gasp, and he makes a show of flicking the vampire's hand away, even though he secretly likes it. If Zayn's sly smile is anything to go by, he knows it too. 

“No, Harry cannot wait, no,” Liam answers with a sigh on the other end of the line.

At the mention of Harry's name, Louis bolts up on the bed, and this time he definitely pushes Zayn's hand away. “What about Harry!? Has something happened to him?”

Surely if something serious happened, Louis would have felt it through the bond, wouldn’t he? 

As he leaves the bed and starts getting dressed, Liam informs him about the events of the night. “Basically... Harry drank a kooky potion and has now turned into...” 

“What!?” When Liam doesn't finish, Louis gets impatient and kicks his other shoe with his foot instead of slipping it on. “Liam, spit it out!”

“He got turned into a frog!”

Louis stills. Then, just to be sure, he repeats after Liam. “Harry drank a potion at some party and got turned into a frog? That's what you're telling me, Liam!?”

A muffled laugh makes Louis turn his head, and he looks daggers at the amused vampire still in bed.

“Yes, you know Harry... He never refuses a drink.” 

Yeah, Louis knows. Because Harry Styles is always so polite! But at a warlock's party, anything can happen when you drink one of their beverages.

Louis pinches the bridge of his nose. “Okay, where are you right now?” 

“At the Institute, but Grimmy called me to vaguely inform me of the accident. You should go get Harry, because you're the closest to the place he is right now.”

Louis doesn't even know how Liam knew he was at Zayn's, whose mansion is indeed close to Nick Grimshaw's place, but he doesn't ask. He sighs into his cellphone. “All right, I'll go get him.”

Of course, he will.

When he hangs up, Zayn is still splayed on the bed like a Greek God, skin still glistening and wet from the wine Louis licked away with his tongue.

“You leaving?” It's a question, but not really.

Louis is looking for his jacket but then remembers Jeff hang it on the coat stand at the entry of the mansion. He prays to the Angel that Jeff's hearing is bad due to his old age, and that he didn't hear too much screaming tonight. 

“Yes,” he replies simply, trying to stay calm. “Harry needs me.”

“Of course, your parabatai always needs you.”

Louis doesn't know how much Zayn knows of Shadowhunters. He just assumes he knows a lot. He does know that Zayn despises them, much like the rest of the Downworlders, to be honest. But Louis is kind of surprised that Zayn remembers that Harry is his parabatai. (Louis might have mentioned it once or twice. When he is with Zayn, it's generally because Louis doesn't want to think or speak of Harry, so he usually tries to avoid talking about the boy to the vampire.) Louis wonders if Zayn knows what a bond between two parabatai is really about.

But he doesn't have time to dwell on this, because Harry comes first.

“I'll see you soon!” And without waiting for the vampire's reply, Louis runs off.

****

******** **

Louis finds Nick's fairytale-like house quickly. He's only been there twice, once for a mission for his brother, and the second time for a party, which he attended with Harry. (Once was enough for Louis.)

The place is crowded with people when he comes in, with warlocks and vampires everywhere, and he is even surprised to spot some werewolves as he makes his way towards the centre of attention, a group of people standing in a circle around a wacky man in the middle of telling a story.

Nick.

Louis elbows the people around without an excuse, and some people actually back away with fear when they realize who, or rather, _what_ , he is. Some others watch him with disgust and hatred, but Louis only has eyes for the warlock, whose back is to Louis.

The man is wearing a long red coat, a blue shirt, and some long grey jeans with brown boots. He's also wearing some sort of Hawaiian flowers around his neck, which don't match his outfit at all, but Louis is not surprised. He also has some weird stuff on his horn (all warlocks have universal trait, a part of their body that is unique and therefore identifies them as unearthly), but Louis doesn't dwell on that.

“Grimmy,” Louis says flatly as a way of greeting, propping his hands on his hips. “Where's Harry?” 

“Oooh, Louis Tomlinson, the Nephilim,” Nick exclaims in a mocking tone, a tone which he always uses with Louis. Only Louis. He turns himself to face the Shadowhunter, almost spilling some of his drink in the process. He’s wearing his stupid fake grin. “Didn't know you would bless us with your heavenly presence tonight.”

Louis doesn't have time for this.

“Where. Is. Harry?” he asks again, this time trenchantly. The circle of people breaks promptly, and Louis is left alone with Nick at last. 

“Ummm...” Nick taps a finger against his chin, looking at the ceiling. “Last time I saw him, someone was trying to make him drink something.” He waves his hand with a bored expression, as if it were no big deal.

Louis stares at him incredulously. “And you let him drink it?”

Nick opens his arms, as if to say, _‘Duh, we’re at a party.’_

Louis doesn’t even have the energy to shake his head or roll his eyes. “And now, Harry's a frog.”

“Dreadful,” Nick gasps, but his disinterested expression doesn't really indicate he is very concerned about the situation.

Louis is really tempted to punch him. Instead, he licks his lips and takes a deep breath, momentarily closing his eyes. When he opens them, he tries his best to keep his tone cool. “At least tell me how to turn him back.” 

The warlock looks at him as if he is stupid. Which is actually what Nick thinks of him. (Not that Louis cares much.) “You can't.”

_Breathe, Louis. Do not lose your chill._ “What do you mean, I ‘can’t'?”

“Exactly what I said. You can’t.”

Louis has always had a short temper, and this time is no different. He abruptly takes a step forward, his hand balling into a fist at his side.

The warlock is taller than him, and quite imposing, considering Nick has lived a long time and been through a lot. Just like vampires, warlocks are immortal. (Louis learned from Zayn that Nick was apparently six hundred and one years old.) Still, Louis isn't afraid. He could cut the warlock in half in the blink of an eye.

He stares icily into the old warlock's eyes, punctuates each of his words as Nick maintains his gaze. “Tell me how to turn him back _now_ , or I swear this party will be the last one you'll ever throw.”

Nick stares at him a few seconds before rolling his eyes, totally unimpressed by Louis’ threat. “I meant you can't turn him back, but he will. You just have to wait for the potion to wear off.”

Louis gives him a strained smile and tilts his head. “There, that wasn't so difficult, now, was it?”

A piercing cry interrupts their glaring contest, and Louis immediately rushes towards it. A beautiful woman that Louis instantly catalogues as a faerie (her pointed ears kind of give her away) is pointing a finger at something on the ground. “A frog, under there,” she squeals. 

Louis rolls his eyes. For a faerie living in the nature, it’s odd to see her afraid of a frog.

He falls on his knees and glares at the people watching him. “There's nothing here to see.” He aggressively waves a hand at them. “Go wander elsewhere.”

One pale vampire with short black hair hisses, probably miffed to be talked to like this, but they surprisingly all listen, seemingly not that interested in a frog matter.

Louis huffs. They don't know what they're missing out. Harry is the most interesting frog ever… Huh. Human. Most interesting _human_ ever.

Louis shakes his head and bends, looking under the couch. “Harry?” No answer, obviously. Louis doesn't see much under the couch, only blackness. For all he knows, Harry isn't even under the couch anymore.

Still, Louis runs his hand under the sofa. “Harry, it's me, Louis. Climb on my hand.” He grimaces at his words. He never thought he'd say that to his parabatai one day.

He slightly startles when something touches his hand, and when he withdraws it, a green and slippery, but yet smooth, cute little frog with bug eyes is looking at him.

Louis' heart jumps in his chest.

“Oh, Harry...” He hesitantly, but gently, strokes Harry, who only croaks in response. “All right... Let's get you home.”

****

******** **

When they arrive at the Institute, Harry is still very much a frog. Louis doesn't know if he should just put Harry in his bedroom and leave him alone, or take Harry with him into his room. He can't really ask Harry, so without really thinking, Louis goes to his own bedroom.

He is still cradling Harry against him when he lies down on his bed, and Harry is motionless and quite clammy in his hands. “It'll be okay, Haz... Hopefully in a few hours, you'll be you again…” 

_Croak._

“Why did you drink this concoction anyway?” Louis frowns, smiling fondly. “You should know better - they often do this kind of things at warlock parties.”

_Croak._

“No, I'm not judging you...” Louis chuckles softly. “It's okay, Haz.” 

Louis doesn't really know how long he lies there with his best friend in his hands, murmuring reassurances, but soon enough, darkness comes and he's fast asleep, the other half of his soul resting against his chest.

****

******** **

Something is tickling Louis' chin, and so when he wakes up, the first thing he wants to do is sneeze. However, when he opens his eyes and realises what's happening, he doesn't want to move or make a sound.

Harry's head is tucked under his chin, his hair tickling Louis’ skin. His breathing is slow and hot against him. And it's... strange, but in a good way. (When Louis thinks about the fact that, only a few hours ago only, Zayn was still sucking bruising on his skin, marking him, biting him. And now, Harry…)

Okay, he's fine.

Totally fine.

It's not like Louis and Harry had never shared a bed before. In fact, they used to do that a lot when they were kids. But as they started growing up, they did it much less often. And it is weird, having Harry's relaxed and warm body against him like that.

Louis really doesn't want to think about this any further.

He needs Harry to move. 

The latter suddenly makes a low sound through his mouth, and then he's turning his head, his lips brushing Louis' neck.

Okay, Louis can't do this. 

He’s contemplating how to wake Harry up when the boy finally stirs, the rhythm of his breathing changing slightly. He feels Harry's eyelashes move against his skin, and then he feels a sudden pain in his chin.

“By the Angel!” the boy exclaims while Louis closes his eyes and groans in pain, rubbing his chin. “Lou, fuck, I’m sorry!” 

When Louis opens his eyes, Harry’s warm body is no longer pressed against is. Instead, the boy is standing up besides the bed, eyes wide open and mouth agape as if he just discovered a demon in his bed. Louis tries not to make this into a big deal.

“It's fine, H,” he sighs, waving a hand. He sits upright and swings his legs over, not meeting his parabatai's eyes.

“I–” Harry starts, making Louis glance at him. He notices the way Harry's eyes travel to Louis' neck, and Louis has to stop himself from covering his neck. He didn't really have time last night to inspect his neck, but he suspects Zayn has left a little souvenir. (Though Louis cannot remember for the life of him if it's a simple bruise or... A bite. He only remembers Zayn hotly whispering against his skin, “Angel blood is the sweetest of all”.)

But Louis sees something flicker in Harry's eyes, and unfortunately, he doesn't have time to process it because then Harry's eyes drift away and he speaks in a what the boy must hope is unaffected tone. (But Louis knows better.) “Erm, thank you for last night.”

Louis watches him in silence for a few seconds, before replying in the same tone. “Of course, Haz.”

There. He finally has Harry all flushed, but it's not from kissing, not like with Zayn yesterday.

This time, instead of having the boy he wants close to him, Harry is too far away.

Louis doesn't like it.

He wants to pull Harry back in bed and make out until they are both breathless, mouths hurting from kissing, lips bitten and swollen.

But they can’t.

And Harry doesn't seem to want to...

“I, erm,” Harry starts babbling, making some weird gestures with his hands. “I should get back to my room, and change, and... Erm, yeah, thanks again. See you later, Lou!” 

And with an awkward wave and smile, he leaves the room as fast as a vampire, leaving a quite shook up Louis behind him.

Louis is fucked.

****

******** **

After a quick but efficient shower, and a good British breakfast, Louis is ready to go, waiting in his brother's office. They’re about to leave for the Silent City for Iggy’s parabatai ritual.

If his sister ever decides to stop pacing the floor.

Iggy had chosen Louis as her witness during the ceremony, and Louis would be lying if he said he wasn't touched by this. To him, it is an honour, and he is very happy to have been chosen. He learned from his sister that the other witness at the ceremony, on Vicky's side, Iggy's future parabatai, will be Vicky's cousin, a guy named Greg, who is only a year older than Louis, and who’s from the Berlin Institute.

“Okay, this time, I'm ready,” Iggy announces solemnly, clapping her hands together with a decided and confident expression on. 

Louis can’t help but chuckle, arching an eyebrow at her. “You've said that at least three times already.” He nudges her with his shoulder. “Seriously though, we should get going.”

“Indeed, you don't want to be late for you ceremony now, do you?” Max inquires as he enters the room with Nick beside him. Louis has to maintain a higher level of willpower and achievement not to roll his eyes at the sight of the most uppity warlock he’s ever had the misfortune of knowing.

To travel to the Silent City, they must portal there. And only warlocks can perform such a thing.

“How is Harold?” Nick demands on a diverted tone, a grim on his face. “Still a toad?”

Louis wants to punch him.

“He was a frog, not a toad. And yes, he's doing all right. No thanks to you, warlock.” Louis almost spits the word, and it may have come out sharper than intended, because Max frowns at him questioningly.

It was frequent for some Shadowhunters to use the word ‘warlock’ as an insult. Not that it is Louis' intention right here, because he has nothing against warlocks, or Downworlders in general.

He just doesn’t particularly likes Nick Grimshaw.

Fortunately, Nick doesn't seem to take it personally, since he simply bursts into laughter at Louis’ degree of candor. “Sorry, my bad…” His smile widens as he finishes his sentence with a, “Shadowhunter.”

“All right, can we go now?” Iggy requests, clapping her hands. “This time, I'm indubitably ready.” 

****

******** **

The Silent City is a really creepy city, just like Louis remembers from the first time he came down here for his own parabatai ceremony. He had imagine many times what the place looked like when he was a kid, but when he saw it for the first time, years later, he was so surprised.

The reality had been worse than what he had imagined. (And Louis had a wild imagination.) The Silent City is truly on another level of eerie. What is also quite frightening is the inhabitants of this city: the Silent Brothers.

Brother Kieron, as he'd introduced himself earlier, is currently leading Louis and Iggy through a narrow passage, with smooth marble walls and an endless staircase made of stone that doesn't seem to stop descending.

The place is old and dark, and Louis is fascinated by the signs of age of the city. There are no rails in the staircase though, which is very inconvenient, and Iggy almost falls down the stairs. Louis, with his quick Shadowhunter reflexes, catches her immediately. She mouths a _'thank you'_ as they keep descending, and Louis envies Brother Kieron, who doesn't seem scared of falling. With his long, brown robe covering his feet, the Brother seems to be gliding down rather than walking.

They arrive in a large room, and Louis quickly notices that the walls are mosaicked with bones in different types of colours, white, brown and grey, and they all form arches and columns, with sulks forming the walls. _So, the Silent City has still the same bleak decorations_ , Louis thinks. He struggles to bite back a snarky comment (and the Silent Brothers have no sense of humour anyway) as Iggy shoots him an appalled look. They go in another room, much similar to the first one, but with a big chandelier, which glows with witchlights, hanging from the ceiling

_You wait here._

One thing particular about the Silent Brothers is that they don't speak aloud, which is no surprise, considering most of them have their lips sewn together, but yeah. They basically talk in your mind, and it is sometimes quite unsettling. 

Brother Kieron disappears behind a door after his order, leaving Louis and Iggy standing there.

Iggy lowly whistles. “Lovely place.”

“Innit,” Louis agrees with a snicker.

They hear footsteps and then two people arrive behind them. A tan-skinned girl with short copper hair leads the way, and a boy, whom Louis doesn’t know, is trailing after her. As soon as the girl spots Iggy, she beams and throws herself at Louis' sister, Iggy catching her in her arms with a giggle.

Victoria Johnson bounces on the balls of her feet, still holding Iggy by her arms when she pulls back to look at her. She notices Louis and gives him a quick hug too. “Hey, Louis!”

“Hiya, Vick,” he replies against her shoulder, and he genuinely beams when he pulls away to look at her. “Ready for the big day?”

The fourteen years old girl smiles broadly, her dark brown eyes glinting with excitement as she nods eagerly. “More than ready! And you?” she asks to Iggy. The two girls start jabbering together, incomprehensible words only understood by the two of them, and Louis steps away, leaving them to their special moment.

He regards Vicky's cousin, who's standing there, watching his little cousin with a fond expression. He's tall, with short sandy hair and hazel eyes. He is fairly good-looking, and the grin he gives Louis make him even more alluring, but he’s not as attractive as Harry Styles. Louis returns it nonetheless, and then Brother Kieron reappears before their eyes from wherever he had left to.

_You can come in._

The two girls exchange a glance, a look almost nervous but also eager on their faces, as they follow the Silent Brother.

_Louis Tomlinson, you will walk with Iggy Tomlinson. Gregory Fitzgerald, you will walk with Victoria Johnson. Is it understood?_

The two witnesses nod in silence, and the group walks through some more corridors, but unlike the dark setting in which they were earlier, now the marble of the place is whiter, and Louis thinks he can see gold. It is certainly more pleasant than the morbid déco from earlier.

They arrive at a great set of doors that Brother Kieron promptly opens, and they enter a large, dimly lit room, with a towering, domed ceiling. Here, the marble is of all colours, white, black, pink, gold, silver, with flickering candle lights. The air is thick with incense. Also, the room is full of more Silent Brothers. At least twenty in all, if Louis briefly counted right.

_Cross to the other side of the circle, where they have made a space for you. When you get there, remain there. You will be told what to do._

Vicky and her cousin walk across the room while Iggy and Louis take place on the opposite side, waiting. The Silent Brothers suddenly step back as one, widening their circle, and Louis, Iggy, Vicky and Greg stand in the centre.

Just like Louis remembers, two rings of white and gold fire appear out of the floor, flames rising a few inches, burning bright and hot. Iggy looks taken aback, but quickly regains posture. It would have gone unnoticed if Louis hadn’t been watching her.

All the Silent Brothers speak in their head at the same time: _Iggy Tomlinson, step forward._

Iggy gives Louis a sideways glance, and he nods slightly, giving her encouragement, before she steps into one of the rings. She then looks up, staring ahead of her, into her future parabatai's eyes. Vicky's face splits into a wide grin. Iggy's face, which had been slightly tight and grave, breaks into a brilliant smile in turn.

Louis remembers when he and Harry had shared the same understanding looks and excited smiles, how Harry's dimples popped out, a shade of red on his cheeks, his eyes shining an orange glimmer with the flames reflecting in his emerald eyes, as if a fire had spread through a forest.

_Victoria Johnson, step forward._

The designee steps into the other ring, her gaze still fixed on her friend.

_Witnesses, you will stand on the wings of the angel._

Louis takes place on an outstretched wing of the angel carved on the floor, and Greg follows suit, hands behind his back. 

_We begin the Fiery Trial. Iggy Tomlinson, Victoria Johnson, enter the centre ring. In this ring, you will be bonded._

During the whole ceremony, Louis can't help but be seized with flashbacks of his and Harry’s own parabatai ritual. His mind winds on with memories, images of the two of them at the centre of the ring, fire flashing high, from their waists, then growing higher to their shoulders. He remembers when they sworn their oath, Louis' voice steady and Harry's one a bit wavering, as they recited the ancient Biblical words.

“Whither thou goest, I will go...”

Louis is brought back to the present when the two girls make their vows, reciting the words perfectly. Once it's done, Vicky and Iggy carve the parabatai runes on each other's skin, one on Vicky's collarbone, and the other on Iggy's upper arm.

Louis rubs his own mark on his collarbone, thinking of Harry. He is suddenly racked by a tight feeling in his chest. Seeing the parabatai ceremony all over again just pushes the guilt down onto him, because he knows he should not be feeling this way about Harry. This parabatai thing is too important, and Louis can't ruin their bond with his stupid feelings.

He swallows with difficulty, glancing away.

He won't ruin it.

His feelings will go away eventually, he thinks. He hopes so.

****

******** **

It's actually been months since Louis has set a foot in the Tomlinson mansion in Alicante, and when he arrives at the crowded place for the celebration of Iggy and Vicky's bond, he is a bit overwhelmed.

The huge entry with coordinating wooden and glass furniture is still there, just like the wallpapered dado. The room is full of people - some friends Louis recognises from the London Institute, but also some important members of the Clave, as well as some acquaintances and friends of his parents. Louis also spots the ancient purple warlock that teaches at the Shadowhunter Academy in Idris, and Louis is about to go greet him when he hears his name.

“Lou!”

Louis' head turns and Liam is right by his side in a second, an orange juice drink in his hand. “How did it go?” he inquires with a huge smile.

Louis grins, nodding at himself. “Good, good! Everything went well. Vicky and Iggy are now officially parabatai!” 

“That's fantastic!” Liam beams. “By the way, your sister, not Iggy of course, was looking for you,” his friend informs him as he sips on his drink.

Louis perks up at that, and he bounces on his feet. “Do you know where she is?”

Liam throws a thumb up over his shoulder. “Last time I saw her, she was in the garden.” 

“Thanks, mate!” Louis claps him on the shoulder and scampers off outside. 

He immediately spots her.

Twenty-two year old Cecilia Tomlinson is sat on a green chair under the sun, gesturing animatedly at the man sat in the facing chair, her fiancé Jeremy Knott. He's nodding at Cecilia, and his face is lit up with a lively and fond grin, eyes full of love. Louis has always liked the guy.

But he doesn't even care if he interrupts the conversation. He darts towards his older sister who notices him right away, face creasing into a flashing white smile.

“Louis!” she exclaims, putting down her drink on the tea table in an abrupt gesture, almost dropping. Thankfully, Jeremy catches it.

Her beige hair had gotten longer since the last time he saw her, and she’d tied some of her hair into a 3 strand lace braids. She put a pale pink lipstick on her lips, and Louis thinks it really suits her. When he looks up, he catches a pair of similar blue eyes before she pulls him into a strong hug.

“Oh, how I've missed you, Boo,” she utters aloud in a cry, tightening her embrace. Louis rests his chin on her shoulder, smiling hard. He closes his eyes, swinging her in his arms.

When she pulls away, her azure eyes travel Louis up and down to examine him, and he shifts under her gaze. “By the Angel, you've gotten so brawny,” she remarks with a proud smile.

Louis has always been close to Cecilia. He used to look up to her, always would, of course - she literally is like a second mother to him. She continually looked after him and took care of him when he was younger, and was always there for him. Still is.

When she went away to the Academy to begin her training, it was like a part of Louis left too. And she never left the Academy, since now she is teaching there. Louis misses his big sister every day. But she is brilliant, and fierce in fights. Her knowledge and skills are needed for the benefit of the youngest Shadowhunters.

Speaking of young Shadowhunters... It is only in that moment that Louis' eyes fall on her tummy.

“Cecy,” he wheezes, widening his eyes as his sister bites her lip. “You–” he gasps, not even being able to finish his sentence, feeling too happy. He carefully drags her into a congratulating hug. “Congrats, sis! I am so happy for you!” 

Cecilia blushes and kisses his cheek, a grin not leaving her face as her hands fly to her bump.

“Aw, peanut finally met uncle Louis,” a husky and relaxed voice pipes up.

Cecy giggles as Harry gently puts his big hand on Louis' sister's bump. She's wearing a class tailored crème dress, and the bump is still relatively small, but noticeable. (Louis has no doubt that, since Harry's arrived and seen Cecy, he hasn’t stop touching her bump.)

Because here we go, Harry with babies…

It’s kind of a turn on for Louis, really. Because Harry is so gentle and sweet with kids. He already is an angel, but with kids? He is the sweetest of them all. And many times, Louis found himself daydreaming of Harry, surrounded by their own kids, but—

But every time Louis' dream quickly fades away, because it will never happen.

They are parabatai.

They can’t be in love, never mind have a family together.

After all, _dura lex, sed lex_. The Law is harsh, but it is the Law. The Covennant's motto.

Louis hates this sentence.

“Peanut?” Louis snorts, registering Harry's words and trying to have a steady voice. He can't betray his inner conflicted and messed up feelings.

“Yeah, peanut.” Harry only shrugs with an innocent smile, and Louis rolls his eyes fondly.

Then his parabatai and sister lose themselves into a very interesting and animated conversation about pregnancy, and oddly enough, Harry seems to know a lot about it. (Not that Louis is actually surprised.)

He actually can barely register anything Harry says (he's quoting some stuff he read from a book about morning sickness... Louis can't believe the boy he loves is talking about that with his sister), because Louis is too busy watching Harry's joyful expression. Louis has to look away several times, blinking and pretending to watch other people so as to not appear suspicious. He even starts discussing random topics with some other guests to distract himself, but his attention is mainly, and always, focused on Harry.

And he knows that Harry's is on Louis, too.

It's not even a parabatai thing, Louis just knows it, because he catches Harry's eyes on him when he thinks Louis doesn't see him. It's quick, almost too rapid - sometimes Louis wonders if Harry was really looking at him, or if it was just himself projecting what he wanted to see.

At some point, Cecilia abandons the boys and goes wander with a group of colleagues from the Academy, leaving the parabatai together. They sit there in silence, watching the other guests in the garden without really paying attention to them.

Louis catches his mother's gaze across the yard, near the balcony of the house, and Sally's eyes shift between her son and Harry with a certain expression; Louis isn't sure what it means, and he must be frowning or something, because his mother shakes her head and smiles at Louis before glancing away, bending down to play with the dog.

Harry's hand finds his knee, and Louis almost startles at the contact, but he contains himself, casually humming at his friend. “Mmh?”

“I'll be right back,” Harry informs with a smile, and Louis watches him disappear into the house. Louis takes advantage of the opportunity to subtly check Harry's bum out. (What? Even if Louis can’t have Harry, he still can look a little. He still is a teen with hormones, after all.)

While Harry is gone, Louis finds himself catching up with his old professor, Takács Orion, a Hungarian warlock with deer antlers. He is a very respected man, even worshipped in his home country, and Louis always liked him best at the Academy. 

“Louis Tomlinson, what a pleasure to see you again,” Takács calls aloud, taking seat next to Louis on the garden couch. 

“Likewise, Professor,” Louis answers with a grin. “Do you miss your favourite student?”

Takács, if he is still exerting the same function, is teaching the demoniac language Chthonian at the Academy. Louis once spent an entire lecture writing a poem in Chthonian about Takács' antlers, and he hadn’t even bothered to scowl Louis for it. He admired Louis’ effort, and kept the poem in one of his drawers in his office. (Louis knows this, because one time, the professor confiscated Louis' mp3 and Louis may or may not have gone through the warlock's office to retrieve his property.)

So yeah, Louis was just like any ordinary students at school. Except they were trained to fight demons instead of fighting bullies.

Takács chortles at Louis' question, shaking his head. “Still as lovely as I recall, Tomlinson.” That makes Louis smirk boastfully.

They're in the middle of a debate over faeries when Harry comes back.

“Harry Styles!” Takács rends the air, opening his arms. “Long time no see.” He taps the seat besides his right, gesturing for Harry to join them. “You know, I always knew you two were going to be parabatai one day.” He taps his nose with a finger. “Called it from the first time I saw you two interact.” 

Harry's eyes catch Louis' as he sits down, and he smiles shyly at his friend before looking at their old professor. “Really?” he quizzes, sounding as surprised and curious as Louis. “Why is that?”

“Oh, you know!” The warlock waves a hand, as if he thought it wasn't necessary to explain because the answer is obvious. But seeing the expression on the two parabatai, he elaborates on a very serious tone, “It was just as plain as a day. I dislike a lot of things about Shadowhunters, you know it,” the warlock jabbers. “But one thing I really find myself very interested in, is the parabatai bond... It truly is something else.”

“I've always been curious,” the man continues. “And I read a lot about it in the Codex. I guessed I just noticed the way you two always stood up for each other, especially you, Louis,” he points at him, “when that stupid fellow student was picking on Harry.” At that mention of the memory, Harry's eyes look down at the grass while Louis' curls his fists in. That John Waitley was really a jerk.

The professor keeps rambling, “I saw the way you always put Harry first, how genuine your friendship was and still is…” At that, Louis smiles, and Takács seems to register his monologue, because he stops and clears his throat. “Anyway!” He claps Harry on the shoulder and pats Louis' right arm. “I'm glad you two found each other.” With that, he stands up and leaves without another word. Strange behaviour, but coming from that man, they are used to it. Their professor has always been a weird one.

Louis and Harry stare after him, before glancing at each other. They can't help the smile making their way into their faces. Louis has to bite down his bottom lip to contain his pleased expression, while Harry hides his grin behind his right hand. 

Takács' words really touched Louis, but they also shook him to the core.

He knew that parabatai show their feelings without restriction, and sometimes some parabatai's behaviour could be misinterpreted if people didn't know about their bond. But every one in the Shadow World knows about it, knows how parabatai work and that it is a strong connection between two people.

Still, Louis wonders sometimes if he is obvious. He wonders if Harry interprets some of his gestures as just friendly, or something more. Louis dreads to think about it. He wonders if Harry knows that, besides Louis’ will to die for him, he would turn the world upside down and go to Hell for him. He would literally do anything.

And not only in the name of his oath, not because of the parabatai bond, but because he loves Harry.

He loves him to pieces. He fiercely and unconditionally loves him.

And he knows it's real. It isn't some sort of amplification from the bond, from his already existing feelings, as they all say. Because Louis thinks that it's bullshit! He knows better.

He and Harry are each other half, and he felt it, knew it, even before he and Harry bonded. He knew it as soon as he met the boy. He felt the pull, he felt like he was finally whole, like he had found the other half of his soul.

Sometimes, very briefly, Louis also wonders if they made a mistake when they decided to become parabatai.

****

******** **

Louis doesn't know how, but somehow Harry persuades him to go to that warlock party with him. Admittedly, Louis accepted because he knew it wasn't organised by, or at, Nick's. So it was all good.

It's only when they're on the sidewalk in front of the house, that Harry accidentally slips the name of the warlock throwing the party.

“Rita will be so pleased to see you, Lou! 'The more Shadowhunters, the merrier’, that's her motto!” 

Louis hums in response, before he abruptly stops in the middle of the road they were crossing. Harry tugs at his hand so that they avoid being run over by a car (mundanes are quite dangerous), frowning at Louis' dull expression.

“Rita? Like in Rita Ora? Grimmy's bff?” Louis spits.

Harry drops his hand and faces him, blocking the way to the stairs of the house. He puts his hands on his hips, frown deepening. “What's your problem with Nick anyway?”

“My— My problem!?” Louis splutters, glancing away. 

“Yeah! You clearly have something against him,” Harry replies, sounding utterly lost and confused. “And I try to understand why you don’t like him, but I can't think of a good reason.” His face and tone softens as he speaks his next words. “I know you are not the kind of Shadowhunter to instantly despise a Downworlder, so help me understand, Lou.” He drops his hands against his body in surrender, shaking his head a little. “I just want my friends to get along.”

Louis kind of feels guilty. He doesn't want Harry to play the mediator, that's why Louis always thought keeping his distance with Nick was okay, and that his hostility to the warlock wasn't that obvious. Louis had tried to keep it down around Harry, but it looks like he miserably failed.

His tone is as gentle as he manages when he answers, “I don't despise him, H. I'm sorry if I... If I was inconsiderate with my behaviour...” He expires slowly, monitoring Harry's lenient expression. “I'm sorry,” he repeats.

A little smile touches Harry's lips. He moves closer to Louis and takes his hand, squeezing it lightly. “It is not me you should apologise to.”

Being parabatai is not necessarily agreeing with each other everything, on the contrary. It is understanding each other, being there for each other.

God, Louis loves Harry so much.

He's about to open his mouth to make a snarky remark or something, but the front door flies open and prevents him from doing so.

A tall woman with a tiger tail appears, peering at the two boys over her big red sunglasses.

“Are ya two going to stay there forevah, or are you comin’ in?” Rita quizzes, her smile teasing and inviting.

Louis arches an eyebrow at her interesting outfit, a black halter neck bodysuit with a long red velvet coat and huge black heels, glinting bright. _Warlock are so extra,_ Louis thinks. Her tanned face is covered in black and red glitter, and now Louis understands why Harry had asked him to dress in red and black. Apparently it is the dress code of the night. 

Harry grins and pulls on Louis' hand. “A little party never killed anybody.” He winks at Louis and tugs on his hand.

Louis could never resist Harry, so he lets himself be dragged into the party.

****

******** **

The party is going very well overall, although the place feels like a furnace. The basement is crowded with people dancing: werewolves, vampires, faeries...

Louis is having fun, watching Harry dancing like an idiot on the dance floor, flashing charming smiles at people. Louis is far from being jealous, okay, but when Harry wasn't looking, he might have spread out his foot to make someone (who was dancing very close to Harry earlier) trip. No one saw, Louis made sure of that. He is a very discreet Shadowhunter after all. So nope, not jealous at all.

Niall Horan is there, and Louis is delighted to see him. The blonde pale skinned boy may be the only faerie Louis can stand. Except maybe Anarys, a beautiful fair skin faerie with exquisitely pink cheeks. He once hooked up with her, but he quickly regretted it. (That’s another story. With the beauty of angels and the viciousness and malevolence of demons, the Fair Folk are not to be trusted, even if it is impossible for them to lie.)

But the big problem with Niall is that he has no filter. That's why Louis has to _constantly_ be extra careful with his subtle glances towards Harry, because at any moment, Niall could blow everything up.

Just like now.

“Mate, stop staring at Harry's ass already,” Niall casually says to him while dancing and managing not to spill a drop of his beer, surely thanks to his unnatural abilities of swiftness and grace... Harry would make a wonderful faerie.

Louis shakes his head to himself. Harry is not cunning or manipulating. Harry is the incarnation of purity and kindness. He would not trick humans, promising wonderful things, without mentioning that the desire comes with a terrible cost. He isn't like the Fair Folk.

“I am not,” Louis squawks indignantly, making himself small on his chair. 

He was indeed staring at Harry's bum, but one cannot blame him for that. Harry has a great arse.

In that instant, Niall stops dancing. He lays his aquamarine eyes on Louis, looking fixedly at him as if his eyes were peering into his soul to search for his darkest secret. He may have found it. “Does Harry know that you're in love with him?”

Louis almost chokes on his drink. He, Harry, and Niall have been friends for a few years now, but they don’t always hang out that much. Niall usually stays in the faerie land. The occasional meetings are, just like this time, during parties. Once or twice they'd meet up in a park, playing football and talking like friends if they can. Because they are friends. But friends do not betray you like this.

Louis gives Niall his most threatening look, but the faerie doesn't seem very impressed. “I am not — I mean,” Louis stutters. Maybe he’s had too many drinks. “I don't know,” he blurts out in surrender. He slams his drink on the nearest table and crosses his arms over his chest like a petulant child, ignoring Niall's satisfied smirk. Niall really isn't a great friend.

The blonde tilts his head, silently watching Louis before squinting at Harry for a moment. Then, “I think he is too,” and he just ditches Louis without another word to dance with a vampire girl up on the DIY dance floor stage Rita built up with her magic.

Louis stares stupidly after his friend with his mouth agape, before shaking himself out of his thoughts with a vigorous movement of his head.

Just because Niall figured it out, doesn't mean Harry did too. Maybe Harry is oblivious. _And Niall's last words most certainly don't mean anything_ , Louis convinces himself.

Even if many odd behaviours coming from Harry keep popping in Louis' mind. Like the lingering touch of Harry's hands on his skin after he puts a rune on Louis when they fight together, or the sweet little private smiles that only Louis receives... Their extraordinary relationship, the understanding conversations they have with their eyes that no one else but them can understand. The secrets they share, all the things they've done in battles, the rush, the emotions... All the promises to each other... Or every so often, the kisses on the cheek, even on the nose or forehead, that always make Louis crave more...

Louis wonders if Harry knows the silent love promises Louis made to him when they shared those moments. He wonders if in return, Harry feels more. He wonders if, as Niall suggested, Harry loves him too. He wonders if he imagined and interpreted some of Harry's gestures and looks wrongly.

Sometimes, Louis feels like there is so more, so much beyond their bond... But Louis doesn't really know. He doesn't want to get lost in false hopes.

Louis shakes himself out of his thoughts. He hasn't come to the party to get down, but to enjoy himself. (Okay, maybe Harry was the one who dragged him to the party in the first place, but whatever).

So Louis stands up from where he has been sitting and joins everyone else on the dance floor. He feels his parabatai's eyes on him, but he ignores it. Instead, he lets himself be pulled closer by a green-haired faerie, who looks at him with purple eyes full of mischief. 

They dance together for a while, their bodies moving to the rhythm of the music, and Louis finds himself enjoying it. He doesn't even notice when Harry leaves the dance floor, too busy losing himself in songs, the faerie close to him.

But when he does notice Harry has left, he stops dancing and excuses himself, informing the faerie boy that he needs to get refreshed. The Downworlder nods with a wave of his hand, and joins a vampire girl in a strange choreography.

Louis shies away in a dark long corridor, searching for the bathroom. He finds it easily, at the end of the corridor, and he splashes his face with water, appreciating the cool liquid on his face.

When he exits the restroom, a movement in the corner of his eyes makes him go further into the place, going after it. He doesn't know why, but Louis guesses it's his Shadowhunter instinct. Rita's place looks like a labyrinth. From the exterior, it didn't look like the house was huge, but it really is.

He's just arrived at an intersection when something grabs him by the shoulder.

Louis lets out the most high-pitched yelp he's ever made, which is embarrassing, because it is not the most masculine scream, and also because he's a Shadowhunter; he should have seen the attack coming from miles away.

His back collides against a wall, and he closes his eyes under the impact. When he opens them a second later, he finds himself staring into two familiar green and dark eyes.

_Harry._

“What's gotten into you,” Louis yaps, freeing his arm from Harry's grip.

Now he's recovered from the mini heart attack, he can clearly notice — and feel — that Harry's body is very close to his. His face is at only inches away from his, and even in the darkness, Louis can see the redness of Harry’s cheeks, probably from all the drinks his parabatai has had, or perhaps from the effort of dancing for hours.

And heat is radiating off Harry's body. And this close to Louis, the latter can't take it. He doesn't need Harry to complicate the situation. And since when does a friend stand this close to you, anyway?

Unexpectedly, Harry pouts at him in response. “You didn't dance with me...”

Louis arches an eyebrow, incredulous. “If that's all... Then, come on, let’s go dance.”

He makes a movement to head back to the main room, but Harry places two hands against the wall, on each side of Louis' head, caging him in and efficiently stopping Louis from walking away.

Louis only stares at him, taken off guard. He never imagined this night would turn out like this. (Not that he minds. He’s dreamed of that a lot. But now is not a fantasy, but reality.)

Harry's lips part to speak, but he doesn't say anything. He just frowns down at Louis, as if he's seeing him for the first time. He's intensely looking at him, like Louis is the greatest mystery of his life. 

Louis doesn't like this.

“Harry —” Louis starts, staring into Harry's eyes. He doesn't miss the way Harry's eyes briefly look down at his lips when he speaks, before looking up back at Louis.

Louis doesn't like this at all.

He doesn't like the proximity, doesn't like the way Harry's eyes just darted to his lips, as if he was contemplating kissing him. He also doesn't like to think about what it means, fearing that Harry is just too drunk and doesn't even know what he's doing, doesn't even know the effect he's having on him.

He hates this.

So with all the force Louis has within him, he puts two hands on Harry's chest, gently pushing him away. He doesn't miss the hurt passing in Harry's eyes, but Louis ignores it.

“I think you are a bit too drunk right now,” he speaks slowly to the boy he desperately wants, looking into both Harry’s dilated eyes. “We should get back to the Institute.”

Harry's look darkens, furrowing his eyebrows. “I'm exactly where I want to be,” he replies, gazing at Louis' lips once again.

He takes a small step forward Louis, as if he wasn’t close enough already, and the latter sucks in a shaky breath, eyes widening.

However, this time, he doesn't push Harry back, not even when Harry slowly leans in closer, licking his own lips, his breath tickling Louis’ mouth.

And Louis can’t stop staring at Harry’s mouth, now.

_So much for self-control._

Harry is going to kiss him.

And Louis wants him to kiss him.

And he wants to kiss Harry.

But he doesn't want their first kiss to be due to alcohol. He doesn't want Harry to regret this, or worse, having his thoughts confirmed and Harry says it was a mistake, that he was out of it, and that it didn't mean anything.

It would break Louis' heart.

So when Harry's hot breath against his skin sends chills all over Louis' body, when the lips Louis has dreamed of kissing are only a few inches away, Louis exhales and turns his head quickly, closing his eyes. He doesn't dare to look at the boy.

He hears Harry breathes out, his hot breath brushing his cheek. And he can totally imagine the disappointment and hurt in the beautiful green eyes. 

“I'm sorry,” Harry whispers. Louis turns his head, facing him as his parabatai steps back and rubs a hand on his face. His glassy eyes are now looking everywhere but at him, and Louis hears it when Harry gulps. “You're right, I'm... I'm drunk. I’m sorry. Dunno what's gotten into me.” 

Louis doesn't say anything. He only blinks at the boy, astonishingly. And when it is clear that Louis won't express an answer, Harry sighs and mumbles something about needing another drink, before walking away, leaving a hurt and frustrated Louis standing in the dark hallway.

He lets his head fall back against the wall, sighing irritably.

He's angry with himself.

Angry because of everything he has done so far to avoid revealing his true feelings to Harry, to protect their bond. He hooks up with Zayn, he even tried to _fall in love_ Zayn instead of Harry (Zayn is a great person, don't get him wrong, and the arrangement suits them both, but... it's not what Louis wants), convincing himself that his feelings would go away eventually, because people can fall in love with other people if it doesn't work out with that one person, right?

But then there is Harry, with his eyes and appealing lips, almost making Louis surrender. And now Harry's messing with him, making Louis believe he feels the same.

Does he, really? Or was it only the alcohol? Or does Harry actually return his feelings, like Louis hoped and imagined so many times?

He is scared to never find out.

He hates being in love with Harry Styles.

****

******** **

They take a cab back to the Institute, and it is the most uncommunicative drive back home you could ever imagine. Harry's gaze is focused on the road, and not once does he glance at Louis like he usually does. As soon as the cab pulls over near the Institute, Harry is out of the car like a flash, leaving Louis to pay the mundane driver.

Louis makes his way to his room with his hands in his jean pockets, feeling completely down in the dumps. He doesn't even feel like he's in control of his own body when he slips his pyjama pants on.

He ungraciously throws his shirt and blazer on the ground, and briefly takes a look at himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth. He shakes his head, chugging his water glass and flops down in bed, falling instantly asleep.

On this night, he dreams of strong hands seizing his waist and a fervent kiss pressed against his lips, with not a care of what the world would think about it.

****

******** **

Harry Styles is ignoring Louis. Louis should have seen it coming, really. 

The Institute is big, but somehow, Louis and Harry always manage to find themselves in the same room. That is, until Harry decides to always depart suddenly from the room, pretexting a stupid excuse. 

And Harry is apparently very determined to stay away, because he also skips training with everyone, informing them that he has a headache. (Louis knows it's a lie, not only because of the bond, but because every time at dawn, after Louis and the others are long done, he watches (without Harry noticing) Harry training on his own in the training room.)

So if Harry wants to play it like that, then so be it.

The thing is, the almost kiss left Louis kind of... Very... Concupiscent. He cannot deny it. And Harry isn't making the task any easier.

It's always been hard for Louis to control himself whenever Harry trains shirtless in the training room, when his body is sweating and the muscles in his arms contract while boxing. Or when the boy is focusing (yes, even Harry in deep concentration is hot) while aiming for the target with his bow.

Louis always had improper thoughts about Harry like this, and Louis has always (almost always) managed to appear calm on the outside, even if sometimes, Liam would stare at him and shake a finger disapprovingly, a smirk on his lips. (Sometimes, Louis wonders if Liam knows the truth, just like Niall does.)

Right now, they're all eating breakfast in the dining room, and Harry miraculously stayed in the room while Louis is present, even if he stopped dead in his tracks when he entered and saw Louis sitting at the table. But the weird look Max gave him made him sit at the table as well. Since then, Harry’s been very careful to avoid Louis' gaze.

Louis doesn't know what to make of Harry's behaviour. He doesn't know if the boy is ashamed or angry. He certainly did look angry in the past few days that followed the famous night. But then he just... He just kind of crawled into his shell around Louis. Which has never happened before, because Harry has _always_ talked to him, always shared his thoughts and fears. This right now? It had never happened between them before.

It got better a few days later, though. Maybe Liam had a word with Harry, who knows, but then all of a sudden, Harry stops trying to avoid Louis. He even nods at him from time to time to greet him, but that is all. (Even though Louis pleasantly noted that, whenever he makes a sneaky remark or joke, Harry hides his smirk behind a hand.)

Right now, Harry is eating a banana for breakfast in the most obscene way Louis has ever seen. He doesn't even know if Harry realises it. (After all, Harry has got a bit of weird way to eat. He does that thing with his tongue, putting it out to catch the food before putting it completely into his mouth. It's very provoking, Louis decides.)

“Mister Louis Tomlinson, you received an invitation,” informs Naomi, a servant of the Institute. She's a mundane, but with the Sight, which means she can see through glamours (magic that hides the Shadow World from most mundanes) and knows of the Shadow World. She's been working at the Institute for two years now.

Louis finishes his tea and reaches for across the table to take the paper from Naomi's hands, thanking her while doing so.

**You are cordially invited to Mister Zain Javadd Malik's annual birthday party, this Saturday, the eighteenth of January, twenty one o'clock in the evening, at the Master's home: 63 Guild Street, N5 6EU LONDON.**

“What is it?” inquires Liam from beside him, leaning in to read. 

Louis puts the invitation away in his pocket. “None of your business,” he replies with a smirk. But apparently, the sneaky bastard was able to catch the essential of the letter.

“Zayn Malik?” Liam exclaims with a frown, looking into Louis' eyes with an intense stare. He doesn't know what he's trying to communicate through his gaze, but Louis doesn't like it.

And for the first time in days, Harry speaks more than three words to Louis. “I didn't know you were friend with that vampire.”

Louis glances at him, noting his brown knitted together in confusion. “You’re not the only one who’s friends with Downworlders, Harold.”

Harry's frown deepens. “I know. It’s just — He's Zayn Malik.”

Louis narrows his eyes, and Liam slumps down in his chair. “What does that even mean?” he says on the defensive. He knows he's acting a bit snappy, but Harry hasn't talked to him in days, and if he's criticising his choice of friends when only a few days ago he was asking Louis not to judge Nick, that's a bit hypocritical.

“Nothing,” Harry quickly replies, eyes wide. “I just meant that he has a bit of reputation. And he's lived a long time, so...”

Louis knows what Harry is thinking. He's probably referring to all those dark rumours about Zayn, his lothario side and bloody related business.

“So what?” Louis interrupts on a harsh tone that efficiently ends the conversation. Harry doesn't try to go further into the discussion.

It's been a while since Louis and Harry actually argued. Sure, they bicker from time to time, but it's never serious. They haven't been in a serious fight in a long time. They never went a day without speaking to each other.

So yeah, maybe Louis is a bit snappy, but he misses Harry. He wants Harry. In all the ways he can have him, even if it means not romantically. He just wants him, and wishes they could go back to normal. But how can he voice his thoughts if Harry isn't even speaking to him, or willing to listen to him?

Max clears his throat. Louis almost forgot he and Liam were also at the table. “Anyway,” the man drawls. “Who wants the butter?”

Liam hurriedly replies positively, while Louis glares at his cup of tea and Harry looks at everywhere but at him.

****

******** **

A few days later, they have a mission together. Some rogue vampires are attacking mundanes, and they must intervene because they're not from Zayn's clan, which means Zayn doesn't care and won't do anything. (Louis hates him sometimes.)

It's the first time that Louis, Harry, Liam – joined by two other Shadowhunters from the Institute, Stan and Andy – go on a mission together and that Louis and Harry aren't on the best terms.

Still, it doesn't seem to affect their teamwork at all. Louis and Harry still understand each other without speaking aloud, and they manage to stop a riot of rebelling werewolves in the process later on. It's all good.

But it would be even better if they talked again.

At least, that’s what Liam has been telling them since they got back to the Institute. Stan and Andy are walking in front of them, not wanting to take part of this, while Harry stays quiet during Liam’s tirade as the boy demands that they get their shit together, and since he's their friends, it is his duty to make sure everything is well, blah blah blah. 

“This is very dutiful of you, Liam, I assure you,” Louis cuts in, sensing a headache coming his way if his friend won’t stop talking. “But I have a party to attend. So if you will excuse me...” And he walks up to his room without another glance to his friends, feeling Harry's intense gaze on his back.

He ignores it.

****

******** **

The thing with vampire parties is that they are always a bit overwhelming and strange. 

The children of the Night are all beautiful and captivating in a weird way that Louis cannot explain. And their unnatural beauty? It’s a thing that always annoys Louis. They are flawless, as if they were chosen by God themselves to walk the Earth and tempt everyone. (That’s maybe how vampires get their way.)

Another thing that annoys Louis is when, during their parties, they don't even bother wiping away the blood in the corner of their mouths, after they’ve fed on their human subjugate that they keep besides them as if they were pets. Louis hates this, and therefore he feels very out of place. It is almost mainly because he is the only Shadowhunter at the party. He is aware of all the stares thrown at him, all the narrowed eyes scrutinising him. 

Louis remembers once a confrontation with a vampire from Zayn's clan, who was causing some trouble. Zayn could have reasoned with her, but he had thought it would teach her a lesson if Louis caught her and told her the risks she would have to endure if she kept being reckless. Being on the edge of breaking the Covenant Laws is never good. Louis did catch her, and the girl never caused trouble ever again.

Still, what Louis remembers the most about that confrontation is the way that vampire girl had been openly hating on him (not that it was surprising, since Downworlders do hate Shadowhunters). However, she didn't hate him for the fact that he was a Nephilim, but because he was close to Zayn.

“What does my Master find attractive in you anyway?” she had spat, standing darkly in the alley Louis had cornered her in.

Louis had been taken aback by her sudden and fierce reproach, and he quickly had come up to the conclusion that this girl probably liked Zayn a lot. Of course, she loved her master, but she had probably developed strong feelings towards him. And apparently, Zayn didn't seem to return them.

Louis had walked slowly to her, his Angel blade in his hands. He had wanted to make a witty comment, just to annoy and make her more jealous. But he had been in no mood for a fight. He just had wanted to send her to Zayn and carry on with his day, joining Harry in the library room he had left him in earlier. He enjoyed his relaxing sessions with Harry.

And honestly, Louis doesn't even know what Zayn likes about him, or why he indulges his presence, since he hates most of the Shadowhunters and he doesn’t miss an opportunity to say it. All Louis knows is that Zayn is a good friend, and that at least he can give Louis what Harry can't give him.

Louis finds Zayn in the master bedroom, an arm resting on the mantle of the fireplace, a drink in his hand as he watches the fire. He always seems to be doing that, Louis remarked.

He watches him in silence, observing the cheekbones and his beard. His profile is beautiful, very well sculpted. Zayn doesn't give any sign he has heard him open the door, but Louis has no doubt he knows he's here. He's a vampire; his senses are very developed.

“Why are you hiding away from your guests?” Louis asks softly as he closes the door behind him, keeping his hands behind his back. He's hiding his gift for Zayn.

He must have not have been very subtle, because Zayn's eyes light up as he stands upright, facing Louis. “Is that a present?” he queries on a delighted tone, posing his drink on the mantel. He looks shy suddenly, with a childish face. Yet Louis knows how Zayn can be a dangerous man.

Louis smirks and reveals the present wrapped in a green wrapping. He didn't even choose this colour on purpose, it just happens that it was the only wrapping paper he had back at the Institute. Probably because green always reminds Louis of Harry, and that he always uses this colour to wrap Harry's presents. He had somewhat felt bad to wrap Zayn's present with this wrapping paper, but the Institute wasn't exactly always stocked with wrapping paper, and Louis hadn’t had a lot of time to find the perfect gift for the vampire.

Zayn takes the gift from Louis' hands in a very careful gesture, as if the present is the most breakable thing he's ever laid his hands on. The vampire stares down in wonder at the present, a huge smile on his face. His expression is honestly the cutest, and it's the first time Louis sees him like that. Right now, Zayn looks so... Again: young. Which makes sense, because the vampire is forever stuck in a young body.

Louis tilts his head. “You can open it, you know,” he informs on a low voice, not wanting to break whatever dazed state Zayn is in. 

The vampire cautiously unwraps the gift, and Louis hears the faintest gasp, and it's weird because Zayn doesn't even breathe anymore.

Louis had quite a lot of trouble finding a good present. He is so rubbish at offering gifts, especially to Harry, so he always tries to pick something emotionally meaningful.

Zayn... It was different. What would you buy to a person who has lived through centuries and had already everything?

“Oh, Lou...” Zayn murmurs softly, glancing from the book in his hand to Louis. His smile is adorable, tainted with a touch of shyness that makes Louis' heart warm. “You remembered.”

Zayn had mentioned once that Ancient books were his favourite genres, and that he had unfortunately lost his book _Antigone_ by Sophocles in a fire that destroyed his old house in Europe. He said he was fond of the unconventional heroine who pits her beliefs against the King of Thebes.

Louis had managed to find a good edition, and sure, it is not as the same old edition that Zayn had in his library, but it seems like the man doesn't really mind. 

“Do you like it? You know how I'm shit at finding —” Louis stops talking when Zayn pulls on his hand and drags him into his arms. He even surprises Louis by kissing him on his cheek. 

“Thank you, Lou,” Zayn says, bowing his head. “This is the best gift I've had. As a matter of fact, it is the only gift I've had tonight.”

Louis frowns at that. “What? You didn't get any other presents?” When the vampire shakes his head, Louis lets out an incredulous noise. “I — What? But all those people —”

“They only came for the party, Louis.” Zayn says, rolling his eyes fondly, as if it was totally normal. Maybe in the vampire world, it was. “Although, Jefferson made me pastries from my homeland,” he informs cheerfully. “It made me very happy. It's as good as presents, don't you think? They were baked out of love.”

Louis smiles fondly at that, and makes a mental note to thank Jeff later for always taking good care of this lonely vampire. Louis doesn't really know what happened to Zayn's close friends, but he can guess. Most of them probably died, some of them didn't just want to stick to England and preferred to travel the world, never settling down. 

Once, Louis asked Zayn why he decided to stay in England instead of travelling all around the world. Zayn had replied he was waiting for something. When Louis asked him what he was waiting for, Zayn didn't answer him.

“I am surprised you remember though,” Zayn mutters, so low that Louis would have missed it. He stares down at the book, not meeting Louis' eyes.

The latter tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

Zayn raises his head. “I am surprised you remember this little detail about me.”

Louis blinks, a bit confused by Zayn's genuine state of amazement.

“Of course, you're my friend.” Then, to lighten the mood, Louis nudges his shoulder. “And, you know, I do pay attention to what you say most of the time.” On a more serious tone, he adds, “You are the most interesting and fascinating person I've ever met.” 

Louis really doesn't get it when people qualify Zayn as mysterious or dangerous. He is an open book. He just can't fathom how people could think bad of Zayn.

Zayn then looks at Louis with the most piercing stare he's ever given him, like he's seeing Louis for the first time somehow. He doesn't say anything for a few seconds, and Louis doesn't drift his gaze away.

Not even when Zayn's face gets closer to his and they kiss, the sound of the party fading away around them. (Louis doesn't know why, but kissing Zayn right now makes him feel guilty, like he is betraying Harry.

Yet he doesn't push him away.)

****

******** **

“When are you and Harry going to get back to the way you used to be?” Liam mumbles, his face red and sweaty with effort. 

Louis has him pinned to the floor in the training room on a beautiful rainy afternoon. Liam is trying his best to get up, but every time Louis manages to keep him down. Liam then tries to free his left leg by wiggling it, but Louis moves to block it, making Liam groan in pain. 

“I don't know,” Louis answers on a casual tone, while his friend is panting under him. “Probably when he decides to talk to me again. I'm not the one giving him the silent treatment.”

“Yeah, about that,” Liam breaks in his sentence when Louis hits his shoulder. “Why is he giving you the silent treatment anyway? Is it because you're hooking up with Zayn?”

Louis, who already had a strong hold against Liam’s arm, tightens it, making Liam's breath hitch. “How the hell do you know about that?”

“Please, injury time!” Liam requests through his teeth. Louis loosens his grip and stands up quickly, holding out a hand to Liam who gratefully takes it.

Usually, Liam is stronger than Louis, but today, Louis is feeling restless and just full of frustration (mostly sexual frustration, because he did not hook up with Zayn last night, because it felt wrong to him. He’d left feeling horny and missing Harry more than he should have).

“It's not like I never noticed your very visible bruises and bites,” Liam answers him with one raised eyebrow.

Louis perches his hands on his hips. “And what exactly does it have to do with Harry, Liam?”

Liam opens his mouth to reply, as if his answer was immediate to him. But to Louis' surprise and confusion, the boy closes his mouth, thinking better of it. He shakes his head, clapping Louis on the shoulder as he walks past him to leave the room. “You two just really need to figure it out.”

And Louis is left utterly puzzled, and suffering withdrawal symptoms.

He does miss Harry.

****

******** **

Louis finally plucks up the courage to talk to his parabatai later on.

He finds the boy curled up on the bench in the library room at the Institute. It's rumoured to be the largest of all the libraries in all the Shadowhunter Institutes. The place is big and wide, with rectangular oak tables set down in the middle of it, vanishing up to the far wall, which is painted with an image of an angel. 

Halfway up the walls is an interior gallery with a wooden railing running around it, that can be reached by means of spiral staircases on either side of the room. There are rows upon rows of bookshelves stood at intervals, with more bookshelves upstairs as well. Between the shelves are set huge, outward-curving stained-glass windows, lined with worn stone benches.

Harry is sitting at the furthest table, near the wall painted with the spiritual being. He has his head bowed, eyes fixed on the book he's reading. Louis can't see his face, because his long, loose hair is falling around him. 

Louis loves Harry's hair. He always plays with his curls, always runs his fingers through Harry's crinkly and dishevelled hair whenever he can. He likes to untie the knots in the boy's hair, making Harry grimace like a cat under the pressure. Occasionally, Harry would even moan lowly at the massage, and it would make Louis' stomach jump.

What Louis also admires about Harry’s hair is that it is the sleekest. It’s smooth under Louis' hands, and it smells good, too. (Louis knows it from all those times Harry fell asleep against him, and for all the times Louis had Harry's hair under his nose, or even in his mouth, when Harry hugs him tight and doesn't pay attention to what he's doing.)

Louis wends his way to Harry's table and silently besides him, careful to leave some space between them. Harry must have heard him a while ago, probably felt his presence from the beginning, yet he only lifts his eyes from the book when Louis is settled.

Neither of them say anything. Harry is looking at him with parted lips, eyes seemingly shining with surprise, as if he hadn't expected Louis to finally come to him. (Even if, admittedly, Louis was waiting for Harry to come to him in the first place. But the Styles are stubborn. Especially Harry. As stubborn as Louis, maybe even more.)

Louis breathes in, choosing carefully his words. “I want us to talk about what happened that night.” At that, Harry's eyes drop to the book, but he fleetly looks up again, waiting, ready to listen, to talk. “We can't keep going on like this, Haz. And, quite frankly, I miss you.” 

It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say. Louis had planned the whole thing, and this part about missing the other wasn't supposed to come until after the very end. Louis had gathered his thoughts in order, but with Harry, things never go as planned.

“I miss you, too,” Harry confesses faintly, eyes turning impossibly sad at the shared admission. He looks like a sad puppy, and Louis wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around the boy and rub his face against Harry's smooth cheek.

“It's okay if you mad about last time,” Louis starts, without thinking. “Because clearly, you have something against me, and I'm sorry—”

“Wait, what?” Harry stops him, wide-eyed. “Are you kidding!?” 

Now is Louis' turn to widen his eyes, thrown off balance. He was only just starting his speech.

“What?” Louis only echoes stupidly.

Harry then smiles, actually _smiles_ (god it's been so long since he smiled like that at Louis), and starts chuckling with a shake of his head. 

Louis is completely baffled, and he bites his lip. What did he say that was so funny?

Harry must notice his confused expression, because he finally expands. “Louis, it is me who should be apologising.” Louis' confusion only grows. “I am sorry for pushing you, and I'm sorry for how I acted afterwards. You were right, I was out of mind, I was a bit drunk, yeah, but the truth is...” He sucks in a deep breath and momentarily closes his eyes. Louis doesn't dare to interrupt him, or even move.

When Harry opens his eyes, he stares into Louis’ blue ones, and doesn’t look away. “You make me careless, Lou.” At Louis' open, startled expression, Harry smiles fondly and continues. “You make me want to break the Law. You know how I've always been the one who follows the rules, and you were the one breaking them." He shrugs, still smiling. “It’s always like that in a duo. We balance each other out, we are complementing, and that's what I like the most about our relationship, don't get me wrong.” He's rambling, cheeks flushed and fingers playing with the corner of the page of his book.

“And we are not fools.” His eyes briefly land on his book before focusing on Louis’ again. “I know the way you feel about me.” It’s a bomb that he is dropping on Louis, just like that. Yet Louis still doesn’t move, is only aware of his heart beating faster, and can only be enchanted, listening to Harry. “And I'm sure you know how I feel about you. At least, I hope you do.” Just like that, their feelings are out of the open. Somehow, Louis isn’t surprised either. They were never the most subtle, they never tried to hide it, at least, not to each other.

“I'm not the most subtle person...” Harry keeps saying, letting out a small laugh. Louis finds enough strength in him to join him, but inside, his emotions are all over the place.

“But... I'm afraid of my feelings,” Harry confesses, brows knitting together, looking contrite. Suddenly, his gaze is starting into the void, probably lost in thought, or not bearing to look at Louis for the next part of his speech. Louis wondered how long he had played this conversation in his head.

“I'm scared because we should not feel like this, it isn't allowed and we're bound to be cursed if we ever give in. And—” He shakes his head vigorously, and Louis puts a hand on him, the only gesture he's capable of doing right now.

He isn't sure Harry registered it, as he goes on, still not looking at him. “I don't want to lose you, so I've always told myself I would be satisfied with whatever we had, that it was better than having nothing.” Louis watches Harry’s teeth biting down on his bottom lip. “But the more we got closer, and especially after we became parabatai, the more difficult it became.”

Harry... Harry felt the same way about him, even before they became parabatai. _I'm not the only one who felt it..._ Louis thinks.

“I'm scared to get my feelings out in the open. And I'm mad because I want to give in. I want more with you.” Harry's verdant gaze captures Louis’ attention again.

Harry is literally wearing his heart on his sleeve, he's being open and honest, he's doing the most genuine and outstanding love declaration even Louis' dreams would never manage to deliver, do justice to. And it means the world. Louis' heart is full of love, and he can't even find himself to breathe correctly, he just can't, his throat is tight and every single swallow takes a great effort. He’s shaking, and Harry's hand is shaking too, still in his.

“And that night,” Harry resumes his telling, “I was drunk and it helped me. This was the first time I lost control, and I felt free and happy, and I just didn't care about anything else but you. But then...” Harry’s face looks tormented, and Louis hates that it’s his fault. “You stopped me, and I thought you didn't feel the same way, that you didn't want me that way. That I imagined it all. And I felt stupid and ashamed. That's why I kept my distance, because I realised what I had done, and I didn't want you to think...” He stops, shaking his head. “I don't know what I thought. I just know I miss you. And I love you. I really do.”

By the end of the speech, Harry’s dark eyes are glistening with tears and his cheeks are dusted with pink. His lips are full of teeth marks, from all the biting he's done. He is the most beautiful angel Louis has ever seen. _Eat your heart out, Raziel._

“Harry, by the Angel.” Louis should not mention a divine being in this conversation right now, but he doesn't care. Not when the boy he loves just said all of these beautiful things. “You never imagined anything.” He squeezes Harry's hand he is still holding. “Of course, I feel the same about you, you idiot.” Not the declaration he had planned for himself, but as he said, things never go as planned with Harry.

Harry gives him a teary smile as it’s Louis' turn to pour his heart out. “And all the things you've said, I feel the same way, please, don't doubt it,” he reassures slowly, just to make Harry understand. He can't believe Harry has been feeling the same way all this time. “I wanted, _want_ , so much more, but I was content with what we had if it meant having nothing at all otherwise. I want more, I really do, but—”

“We can’t,” Harry finishes sadly, knowing what he means. They both do. “We would be cursed.”

Louis recalls the famous parabatai lovers legend.

Apparently, a long time ago, a certain event happened: A parabatai pair fell in love, and attempted to be together. But then, something terrible happened. Because of that tragic love story, it was said something ominous would always happen, that this tragedy will repeat itself if two parabatai were to ever fall in love.

It was said they would be cursed.

In all the history of Shadowhunters, there was never once a parabatai pair who fell in love who ever had a happy ending. The affair always ended with a suicide, or the other one dying.

Louis wasn't sure he even believed this myth. When he was younger, he did some research about parabatai, and he stumbled upon books written by Shadowhunter-troubadours in the late Middle Ages. In those books, there were songs, depicting the forbidden love of parabatai pairs and their inevitable tragedy.

Louis' only conclusion from what he had read was that: “A love bond between parabatai will strengthen their power to the point of magic, but because Shadowhunters aren't meant to wield magic, the power is corruptive and dangerous.” Louis thought it sucked, and he had closed the books and never opened them ever again.

But all those stories weren't even the real issue.

Because the only bond forbidden to the parabatai bond, is the romantic bond. As upheld by the Clave: “These bonded pairs must maintain the dignity of their warrior bond and must not allow it to transform into the earthly love referred to as Eros.”

When Louis asked his older brother the reason of that declaration, when he was younger, Max replied that, “Shadowhunters aren’t sure, but falling out of love would risk the bond that the parabatai is.”

And a parabatai bond isn’t a simple bond. It is considered as something beyond human emotion. So the Clave assumed that the parabatai lovers incident may be repeated unless the prohibition is placed, hence the rule and... punishments. 

Then Max had added with a shrug, that aside from those reasons, it was a long-hidden mystery among Nephilim of why parabatai could not fall in love, and that he would tell Louis if he ever experiences it and reports to him if two parabatai could fall in love despite all. (Unfortunately, Max never got a parabatai, and so far his queue to his love life isn’t very crowded.)

Louis had found this whole forbidden love thing so stupid. Just because of an incident that happened a long time ago — something the Clave didn't even notice with their own eyes — they prohibited love between two parabatai? 

Back to the present, Louis takes a deep breath and sits in a cross-legged position to face the boy, who immediately imitates Louis.

When Harry faces him, licking his lips, Louis places his two hands on each of Harry's knees, who doesn't flinch away, only staring back at Louis with a sort of amazement. Which Louis doesn't really understand, because the only wonder in this room is Harry himself.

Louis licks his lips in anticipation, and drops his eyes to Harry's reddened lips. He wants to kiss them so bad, like all the times he's imagined himself doing so. But—

“We can’t,” Louis repeats the words Harry said a few minutes ago.

As if agreeing, Harry nods, biting his inferior lip. “We can't,” he replies in a hushed tone.

Louis quickly glances up to pleasantly notice that Harry's gaze is fixed on Louis’ lips as well. “But I want to–” Louis doesn't finish his sentence, doesn't say what he wants.

He doesn't say he wants Harry to be more, doesn't say he wants their relationship to be romantic, doesn't say he wants him to be his boyfriend, doesn't say he wants to kiss him right there. Doesn't say that he loves him more than anything in the world.

But he doesn't need to. Harry knows.

“I know,” Harry echoes Louis' thoughts. The curly haired boy has stopped biting his lips, he's breathing hard, Louis can hear it, and his eyes are darker than ever, pupils completely dilated.

Louis is brought by to that night, when they almost kissed. He remembers only feeling Harry mostly, his body so close to his, because it had been dark then, but now, in the dim light of the library, sitting so close to Harry, he can make out of every single details of his face. And his flawless and beautiful face only expresses desire, and... Love.

And it's the only thing Louis needs to know for what he does next. 

He clasps a hand behind Harry's neck and their lips connect, Louis swallowing Harry's surprised gasp, kissing him harder. He shuts his eyes hard, and he feels Harry's hands urgently finding their place on Louis' waist, while Louis' other hand rests against Harry's warm left cheek.

Through the kiss, Louis pours all his deepest feelings. He tries to convey how much he loves him, that he will always be there for him, that he will protect him forever. He kisses him to tell him his conviction: that Harry is his other half and that nothing will separate them, screw the so-called curse.

And Harry returns the kiss with the same vigor, and with the same force and faith.

Kissing Harry is like a breath of fresh air, Louis decides. Much better that he had ever dreamed of. It feels like when you take the first breath after you just came from under water. That breath you were waiting for, to anchor you. It is the best thing in the world, and it feels so right.

Louis doesn't want to be anywhere in the world but Harry's arms. He doesn't want anything but the gentle and delicious pressure of Harry's lips on his, doesn't want anything else but to savour the sweet and pleasurable sensation of Harry's teeth nipping at his lip, their tongues battling together as they breathe in each other’s mouths.

Louis' body is on fire, and he doesn't know if he's imagining it, but his parabatai mark is tickling, not in a disagreeable way, on the contrary. He feels like his body wants to connect with Harry's, to melt into it, and Louis doesn't understand why the Clave ever thought it was a bad idea for two souls to be united in this way.

And then, the kiss grows deeper and stronger, if that’s possible. Harry's hands on his hips tighten, draging him impossibly closer, forcing Louis to kiss him even harder, their teeth clattering together, noses crashing into each other. They barely stop for breath. _And honestly, dying because of kissing Harry is not a bad death_ , Louis thinks.

He doesn't even care that the Angel is watching them from the wall, surely with a disapproving look on his face. He doesn't give a damn at all. All they care is that their feelings are genuine and returned, and they don't care that they're giving in to the temptation.

After all, we always want what we can't have. 

When they pull away after a long moment, they can only look at each other in a shared stupor, panting with gaping mouths, as if waking up from a dream.

“So...” Louis breathes out. “Was it worth breaking the Law?”

Harry lets out a choking giggle. “Definitely...” he answers with a nod, looking dazed but deliriously happy. “And I'd do it again,” he whispers, kissing Louis once more.

****

******** **

Being in a relationship with Harry, even if it's secret one, is not much different from being friends with Harry, Louis finds out.

Except for the fact that they allow their touches to linger a little longer, and they quickly peck each other on the mouth when no one is around... And maybe they sneak into each other's rooms to make out... Because stumbling into uninhabited rooms is _not_ a very good idea.

The incident happens only once, when Louis and Harry are in the middle of a snogging session in an empty corridor of the Institute, in the last storey of the building. Just to be sure not to be noticed, they find themselves entering an abandoned bedroom of the Institute. They briefly part their mouths away to catch their breath while Louis plasters Harry against the door. 

Harry is breathless from the kisses, his lips swollen and red. His cheeks are tainted with this lovely shade of pink, and Louis wants nothing more but completely wreck him.

So he jumps on Harry's lips again, who was sadly on the process of turning his head it seems, because Louis’ mouth lamentably miss Harry’s.

“Are we—” Harry starts saying, still panting, not even noticing Louis' failed attempt to kiss him.

He's staring at something over Louis' shoulder, and the latter turns over to see what has caught his boyfriend's attention. He hopes it's something good.

He observes the old bedroom they're in. It's one of the only rooms that hasn’t been occupied in centuries, and honestly, Louis understands why.

The place is chilly, and although it hasn't been used in a while, the room is very well furnished, but very much untouched. The pieces of furniture seem old, from another époque, and nothing seem to have been moved, as if the room were frozen in time. The dust is visible on the furniture and in the air.

The room is quite sombre, and the only object that seems to stand out and shine is the miniature dollhouse placed near the window, a surrounded by a ray of light coming through it.

Louis instantly recognises the place.

“Oh… I reckon we are in the ghost's room.” What was the ghost’s name again? Jasmine?

Harry exhales shakily, his breath hitting Louis’ cheek, sending shivers through his body. They are still standing relatively closed, Harry against the door and Louis plastered against his warm body.

“What?”

“You know,” Louis replies with an arching eyebrow, turning his head to him. “That legend of the ghost of the Institute?” At Harry's dubitative expression, Louis expands with a snort, “Harold, you hunt demons but the idea of a ghost haunting the place is making you dubious?”

And they know for a fact that ghosts exist.

One night, when Louis and Harry were walking together near a cemetery, they found themselves walking on a nocturnal chorale of ghosts. That was kind of weird, but nice. Harry even sang along at some point. (Honestly, Harry is something else. Louis loves him so much.)

Harry shrugs against him. “Well, we _never_ saw it, per se.”

Louis is about to answer when they suddenly hear a soft, muffled crackling sound. Both boys glance at each other and frown, looking at the dollhouse who, they swear, has moved a bit to the left. They're actually sure of it, because they can perceive some dust particles flying into the air while the mark of removal is visible on the floor.

Louis feels Harry's body becomes rigid against is. “Okay...” the boy drawls, sounding alarmed.

Louis chuckles nervously. “We never saw it, but that can be arranged, apparently.”

Harry shifts, hands, hands flying to the hand knob. “No, thank you.” He throws a quick glance at the dollhouse over his shoulder, finally managing to open the door. “Sorry for the inconvenience, Jessamine,” he squeaks.

_Oh yeah, not Jasmine, Jessamine!_

Before Louis can utter another word, Harry drags him out of the room.

After that, Harry minutiously avoids the corridor.

****

******** **

Louis may or may not be a little bit — just a little bit — sexually frustrated.

His training sessions with Harry become more private and personal, and they both enjoy teasing one another, but it's driving Louis a bit insane.

Which is quite unfortunate, because they don't really get to ease the... sexual frustration. And that's because, as if the fate was mocking them, the peak of Shadow World activities have increased dramatically after their first kiss.

Which means less distracting activities and more training and demons hunting.

Which was fine, they are Shadowhunters first and foremost, they can totally manage the situation.

Until they have to fight a Greater Demon a few days later.

Greater Demons are considered the upper class in the demonic hierarchy, and they are angels who fell from Heaven. They are not easy to fight or kill, because Shadowhunters' angelic weapons are not that efficient on them. They can only temporarily destroy the demons, merely shattering their form into a million of pieces, and send the monsters into the Void.

Basically, they're nasty pieces of shit.

It was an unexpected fight. The boys weren't on a mission, because usually these kinds of demons are handled by the adults, those above us in the ranks.

But of course, it was just Louis, Harry, Liam, Andy, and Stan’s luck to stumble upon the creature after a night out.

The demon had been feeding on random peoples’ energy, leaving an incredible trail of bodies. They had to react on the instant, because that is their job: protect the mundanes, and stop the devilish beings. 

It took them a few hours into the night, but eventually they managed to track down the Greater Demon to an abandoned factory, where Louis and Harry are currently hiding behind some containers, waiting for the signal.

Harry has been acting strange, and Louis might have an idea of why is that.

When Harry was six years old, his uncle, Harry's father's brother, George, was killed by a Greater Demon while George and Harry's dad, Stefan, were fighting it. It was a tough battle, and unfortunately George didn't make it. Harry lost his uncle, and his father lost his brother and parabatai.

Harry's nervously chewing on his lips and keeps rubbing his hands together. Every time he exhales, a white fog comes out of his nose and mouth, due to the cold temperature.

Louis takes the boy's hands in his to warm them up (because Harry had forgotten his gloves) and his parabatai gives him a tentative smile. “Thanks,” he breathes out.

Louis tilts his head, watching Harry gently. “Hey, it's gonna be okay,” he reassures confidently. “Andy is quite experienced with strong demons, and Liam is the best fighter of all of us. And you,” he gently flicks Harry on the nose, making the boy's smile widen, “are the most skilful with a bow.”

Harry nods, but sighs slowly. “I know, I know. It's just—” he stops himself, shaking his head. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Louis doesn't even care they're on a mission and they could be seen by the others — after all, they're his friends — he lifts Harry's right hand to his mouth and kisses it, before bending down to connect their lips together.

“Everything's gonna be okay,” he repeats in a shaking exhale, and Harry only replies with a smile, nodding.

He hopes Louis is right about this one. Harry knows every single mission is dangerous. Shadowhunters risk their life every day. From an early age, they're trained to be warriors. They have real weapons in their small hands instead of plastic toys, and they go into fights even before they reach eighteen years old. They live and fight young, and they might as well die young. Their life can stop at any moment. Because they might be warriors with angel blood, but they're mortals. They weren't granted immortality like the vampires, or didn't get the supernatural strength like the werewolves, or even powerful abilities like the warlocks.

Shadowhunters are only on Earth for a brief life. They're not forever. That's one of their sayings: They are only dust, and Harry knows that. So that doesn't stop him from being scared and worried. Worried for his friends, for himself, but especially for Louis. At any moment, either of them can die before the other one. Harry hopes it will be him, because he cannot imagine a life without Louis. And his parabatai? People say losing a parabatai is the most painful thing in the world. Harry’s father never wanted to talk about it, but Harry knows.

“That's the signal,” Louis says abruptly with his eyes fixed ahead, interrupting Harry's wretched thoughts. “The demon is close, let's go!” 

Harry's hand flies to Louis', grabbing it. Louis looks at him questioningly, a puzzled expression on his face.

Harry swallows hard and releases Louis’ hand with a frown. “Just— Just promise me you’ll be careful, okay?” 

Louis grins with that sort of smile that always makes Harry's heart flutter. “I always am.”

The thing about being in a relationship with Louis, to finally be able to be with him and express his feelings, is the fear of losing him got realer and stronger, and it scares Harry to death. Losing his parabatai would be unimaginable. And since they started developing romantic feelings... It's even worse. Losing Louis would just be unbearable.

And Harry can't deny it, he's afraid of the curse. Louis might laugh about it, rolls his eyes and all, but somewhere in Harry's mind, the fear is present.

Louis probably sees it, because he looks up dead into Harry's eyes, squeezing both of his hands in a last comforting gesture. “Nothing will happen, Harry.”

Harry nods, praying that Louis is right.

****

******** **

The battle with the demon is not going so well.

Stan has been injured several times, and he's soaked with his own blood, and some of the creature's as well. In spite of that, the boy is still standing on his feet, a look of anger and perseverance on his face. 

But they all are exhausted. 

The Greater Demon has proven itself very tenacious. Evidently, it doesn't want to go back to the Void, as it keeps repeating, “You cannot defeat me, Nephilim.” And it apparently enjoys the battle. “Please, keep fighting. Your persistence will be your destruction, and my reward.”

Demons feed on energy, and strong emotions like anger and fear. Louis wonders if the demon would like to feed on his annoyance. That piece of shit is getting on his nerves.

Louis' breath stops as he's knocked to the ground after the tail of the monster hits him. He huffs and slowly stands up while he sees from the corner of his eyes Liam charging on the creature with his angel blade in his right hand.

The demon has the body of a thyranathaurys tyrex, but the rest is demoniac. Its skin is utterly grey, with a hairy face and deer antlers (which reminds Louis of Nick’, and it's actually no surprise since they both have demon blood inside of them). Its ugly eyes are solid black pupils, and his wings are formed of bones (the most breakable part of the demon, and Stan had managed to break one of the wings, which then lead the demon to become angrier and rail at Stan). The creature keeps moving his long lizard tail all over the place, and Louis sees Liam's shining blade making contact with the tail at some point, efficiently cutting it.

The demon howls and turns around, and Louis and Andy seize the chance to cut the monster's remaining wing, which makes the monster growls some more as Harry's arrow flies by and enters the demon's throat.

The creature stumbles backward, its heavy weight dragging him down, and Louis takes the opportunity.

He runs and jumps, landing graciously on the demon, ready to stab his head. “Your disintegration will be our pleasure.” Louis declares through gritted teeth, and plunges the knife into the flesh, making the creature under him squirm and wail.

Louis thinks they've got it for good, that the body under him is gonna vanish and go back to the Void, but then he sees with bewilderment that one the freaking antlers is growing directly out of the demon’s head. Louis' arm seizes with pain instantly, and someone's yelling, the whole outcry reverberating through the building.

He doesn't even realise it's he who's screamed, because he is too shocked and focused on the antler piercing through his skin, blood dripping from the nasty wound.

Then the demon vanishes, but the horn in his arm remains.

And Louis' body is swallowed by a wave of darkness.

****

******** **

“LOUIS!” Harry screams, watching in horror as his boyfriend's body falls to the ground, the demon now vanqished.

Liam is the first one to reach the unconscious Shadowhunter, kneeling on the ground on Louis' left sight, careful not to touch him. His eyes are wild and moving quick, observing Louis' arm. He immediately pulls out his stele, a tool used by Shadowhunters to draw runes onto their skin. Liam hesitates a moment with a grimace, looking up at his friends.

“I'm not sure a healing rune would work on… _that_...” he shares his concern with a wavering voice, wide-eyed, visibly trying to contain his emotions.

When Harry finally reaches them, he notices what has Liam acting like this.

A hideous grey horn is stuck right through Louis’ arm, which is currently dampened by a bright red liquid. The sight sends a jolt through Harry, who gulps and exhales shakily, dropping to his knees. He raises a hand, but Andy jerks it away with a slap.

“Don’t, Harry.”

“You need to take it out,” Stan yells, making Liam jump. Stan's kneeling down near Louis' head, and Andy gets on his knees too, gaping at Louis. When he registers Stan's words though, he snaps out of his torpor. 

“No,” Andy yelps, expanding his arms out to indicate them not to move. “Do not touch it, and do not attempt to extract the horn.” 

Harry sees red, wants to rip his own hair out. “But Louis—” 

Andy takes a quick deep breath, locking eyes with Harry's. “Who knows what would happen if we touch it. It's probably covered in poison. And that same poison is spreading through Louis' veins right now, so we need to take him to the Institute—”

“He'll never make it to the Institute!” Liam snaps, his eyes widening when he registers his own words.

_But Liam is right_ , Harry thinks. They are way too far from the Institute, and they could never make it back in time, not while carrying Louis and all. Plus, they would risk worsening the wound.

Harry's mind is racing. If only they could Portal like warlocks...

He gasps. “Nick!” 

“Nick? The warlock?” Andy asks, before nodding quickly, his sweating dark blonde hair flying around him. “Yes, call him! Call him now, Harry!”

****

******** **

Three minutes later — and it's the longest three minutes of Harry's life — Nick appears through a purple Portal, a dark-skinned boy on his tail.

Harry vaguely registers that detail, though. He only sees his friend Nick, and as soon as the warlock is at Louis' level, Liam is quick to explain the situation.

“Okay kids, step away from him,” says Nick with an authoritative voice. It's the first time Harry has seen him at work, so serious and giving instructions.

“Okay, Zayn,” Nick addresses to the man who accompanied him. Nick holds Louis' arm between his pale, slightly glowing hands. “At my signal, extract the horn.” 

The man, Zayn - Harry realises it's the vampire Zayn Javadd Malik - is staring at Louis' bloody arm with wide eyes, a dazed look on his face, but at Nick's order, he rapidly snaps out of it, and gets down on his knees to do so.

“But won't the poison kill Zayn if he touches the horn?” Liam inquires, which gets him a surprised look from Zayn.

The dark-skinned boy recovers though, and gives Liam a very tiny smile. “I'm already dead.” Liam frowns in response, as if he just realised something. He gives the vampire a slight nod, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at Louis in worry.

“Now,” Nick instructs Zayn.

All the boys, besides Nick, Zayn, and Harry, turn their head to not watch. Harry can only stare at the scene in complete terror as Zayn's hands remove the antler, and if Louis was awake he would have probably screamed in pain, but—

But Louis is unconscious, has been for a few minutes now, and Harry is so worried for him. His parabatai already looks so pale, and the wound on his arm is an ugly red, black veins coursing up his arm and making their way quickly to his chest. The poison...

Harry's hand finds its way to his own chest. It’s not hurting, but he felt the stabbing earlier. And right now, it’s as if he could feel the poison spreading. He struggles to breathe as he immediately goes to check his parabatai bond, but so far, the mark still seems intact. 

Harry is mentally cursing in his head, for allowing himself to give in to the temptation. Surely, this is the curse striking. Harry allowed himself this one thing, and now the boy he loves is going to pay for it. He doesn't want Louis to die. He can’t—

He must have let out a strangled noise, because several pairs of eyes fall on him, except for Nick, whose back is facing Harry.

“Someone handle Harold while I deal with his boyfriend, please,” the warlock demands, his palms up in the air hovering above Louis' injured arm. Green sparks are flying out of his moving fingers.

Nick had guessed, and predicted a long time ago, the real nature of Louis and Harry's relationship, and since then, he had started referencing Louis as 'Harry's boyfriend’ when it was only the two of them hanging out. Harry never corrected him, because it was true. 

But now, and the warlock apparently didn't realise it, he had just revealed the truth in front of everyone. 

Harry feels the gazes of his friends on him, and he closes his eyes under the scrutinisation.

He doesn't know what he expected, but none of his friends make a comment. Stan appears at his side after Nick's request, trying to calm Harry by wrapping a shaking arm around his neck.

“You can stop this, can’t you?” inquires Zayn to Nick, tone full of worry, which surprises Harry in a good way. The vampire is frowning at the warlock, glancing from the man's face to Louis' arm. “Right, Nick?” he asks again, mouth hanging open and brows knitted together.

“I could if you would just shut up, Zayn,” Nick snaps, and Harry hears Zayn hiss like an animal, but besides that, he doesn't say anything, and steps back to give Nick some space.

A silence falls on them all then, or maybe Harry's ears aren't working anymore, with his heart beating fast in his ears and the blood rushing through his whole body. He feels like he's on fire. His chest feels heavy, and he has trouble breathing as the events of the night sink in.

“It's going to be okay,” Liam whispers at his side, and Harry hasn't even heard him approach. He only nods in response, too weak or stunned to speak, gaze fixed on Louis’ still unconscious body.

He prays to the Angel that Liam is right. He prays and swears that, if Louis wakes up, he will make it right by putting an end to their relationship. Because he cannot lose Louis. _Please, spare him. Do not take him away from me._

“Okay,” says Nick after a long minute, and Harry's head snaps up. “I've got it. I've stopped the poison from spreading.” He looks up at the boys around him and Louis, and Harry lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

The warlock's eyes fall on Andy, who seems to be the most composed out of them. “But he does need medical treatment from the Silent Brothers to pull out all the rest.” 

Andy nods at the information. “We'll get him to the Institute, and tell Max to contact them. Liam—” 

Liam cuts him off by pulling out his cellphone. “I'm on it.”

Andy looks down at Nick, raising an eyebrow. “Would you mind Portaling us back to the Institute, please?” 

Nick blinks at him, looking astounded he's asked so politely. “Of course, Shadowhunter.”

Zayn makes a move towards Louis. “I'll carry him, I’m the strongest.”

Harry almost wants to snap at him for that useless, manly comment, and he wants to yell at him that he should be the one carrying his boyfriend. But then, he remembers that it's probably accurate, because Zayn has vampire strength.

Nick stops Zayn with a hand on his arm. “You can't enter the Institute though, remember? It's on holy ground.”

The Institute, as most of the Shadowhunter Institutes, was based on the former site of the Church All-Hallows-The-Less, which was destroyed in the Great Fire Of London in 1666. To mundanes, with the help of glamours, the place looks like an abandoned church, and it is sacred. Downworlders aren’t allowed.

Zayn scowls at him. “Then make sure to land on the only room I'm allowed in, because I'm not leaving him.” 

Harry knows Zayn is referring to the Sanctuary, indeed the only room able to accommodate Downworlders. It is also the room containing holding cells for demons, or Downworlders who commit minor crimes and await their punishment. Nick is a powerful warlock, and therefore is able to enter any other rooms of the Institute.

“Fine,” Nick sighs. “Let's go.”

And with a flick of his hands, the Portal appears.

Harry has never been so eager to leave a place.

****

******** **

Harry has been pacing the floor for so long, and was so deeply lost in his thoughts, that he hasn't even noticed the sun has risen, the place immersed with a bright yellow, tainted with orange and a lavender colour.

He remembers once, when Louis and he woke up early in the morning. It was still night outside, and they had sneaked off the Institute to lay down in Saint James' Park. There, they had waited for the sun to rise.

It was the first time Harry has ever decided to wake up so early to watch a sunrise, but spending this peaceful time with Louis was worth it. He remembers admiring Louis' smooth and honey skin bathed in the colours of the rising sun, and thought: _This boy is truly beautiful, a wonder in this world._ The sun had agreed with him, making Louis shine bright on the grass of the park. Harry was already so in love.

It seems like an eternity when three Silent Brothers finally leave Louis' room. 

Harry's body instantly perks up, and one silent Brother that Harry recognises as Brother Zachariah, the one who actually performed their parabatai ritual, glides to him while the others make their way downstairs. (Brother Zachariah is also the only Silent Brother who actually has not his mouth sewed, unlike all the others. In fact, the Brother looks like any other man, with a skin so pale and eyes so piercing. He wears this long robe and hood, and he talks inside your head, but he does look like... an human. Harry always wondered why he was different.)

“How is he?” asks Harry hurriedly.

_Louis Tomlinson is going to live._

Harry's whole body relaxes, and it feels like a huge weight has been taken off his shoulders.

_He only needs to rest._

Harry hesitates, but then thinks, _fuck it._ “Can I see him?” he requests in his most pleading tone.

Harry wasn't even sure it would work. Some Silent Brothers had lived for so long down there in their recluse city that they no longer seem to feel human emotions. They used to be Shadowhunters though, used to have their own, human life. Harry wonders if somewhere inside them they still can remember it.

Brother Zachariah only delays his answer for a few seconds, before agreeing with a slight nod. _You may._

****

******** **

Louis' head is thudding, as if a concert of tambourines is taking place inside his head. He winces at the pain, and he's about to reach for his water glass on the bedside table when the door of his bedroom opens.

Louis feels his whole body relaxes automatically at the sight of his boyfriend, and he can't fight the smile splitting his face.

Harry returns it, albeit his smile seems more reserved, careful. Louis' smile flatters a bit.

“How are you feeling, Lou?” Harry asks softly, cautiously taking seat next to him on the bed. He runs a hand through Louis' hair, before tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. Louis nuzzles his hand, and Harry seems to register his own gesture, and goes to drop his hand, but Louis catches it in the air, enlacing their fingers together.

“I'm feeling okay, I guess,” Louis replies, voice dry. He really needs to drink.

Harry must hear it in his tone, because he grabs the glass and gives it to Louis, who gratefully drinks it.

“I was so worried,” Harry says, his thumb rubbing Louis' hand.

Louis swallows his last sip. “I'm fine. I told you I would be fine,” he says with a tentative smile, putting the glass back on the bedside table.

“You almost died, Lou,” Harry breaks suddenly, his voice cracking at the end. “I wouldn't call it ‘fine’. If it weren't for Nick, it would have been too late.”

At the mention of the warlock's name, Louis frowns. He had been out cold for a few hours, and he couldn't remember anything except the pain in his arm, and the sight of the horn stuck in it. After that, it was the black hole.

“Nick saved me?” he asks. He seems more shocked by that news that the fact he almost died. Harry wants to slap him. Gently, but still.

He nods instead. “Yes, he did. We called him as soon as you got hurt, and he Portaled in and stopped the poison. Then Zayn carried you—”

“Zayn was there, too?”

Harry nods again. “He's in the Sanctuary.” 

Louis’ smile is tiny, but it’s there. “I guess I should thank Nick as soon as I see him.”

Harry's hands are shaking - Louis can feel it with his hand holding Harry's. He frowns and draws out his other hand from under the cover to cup Harry's hand in his, but then the boy suddenly retracts it.

Louis frowns, a look of hurt on his face. “Why are you acting like this?”

When Harry doesn't answer, bottom lip caught between his teeth and a sad look on his face, Louis understands. “Is this because of the damn curse?” he huffs with an open mouth, looking upset. “Harry, there is no curse!”

Harry's eyes don't meet his. “It seems like there might be.”

“No!” Louis throws his hands up in the air, looking exasperated. “It’s not like in our line of work, there is no danger!” He huffs to himself when Harry doesn’t say anything. “Harry, if Liam had decided to attack the demon instead of me, it might have been him in this bed right now. And Thank the Angel, it’s not. Or any of the boys! Or... Or you.”

Harry still shakes his head.

They played with fire, and Louis got burnt.

Louis scowls at him, swiftly grabbing his hand while the other holds Harry's chin to turn his head, their gaze meeting. Louis can see the delicate and frightened expression on Harry's face, timorous eyes full of worries.

He sighs wistfully. “It took me a while to get you, Styles,” he says, squeezing Harry's hands to emphasise his words somehow. “Now I've got you, and I'm not going to let go of you this easily.” He tries for a light tone, lips turning upward. 

Harry can't fight his smile. He takes a profound breath and bends over, his head resting on Louis' tummy, bringing one of Louis' hands to his mouth to kiss it.

Only when Louis does fall asleep that Harry whisper, while caressing his own parabatai mark on his arm, “You don't have to let go... I do.”

****

******** **

When Harry closes the door after him, he meets Max and Iggy in the corridor.

The two Tomlinsons look on alert, wide-eyed and a bit pale. Max had been quite a mess when they brought Louis in, but as the Head of the Institute, he had managed to keep cool and put his face into a composed expression, acting collected. Harry admired it. Even with Louis well alive and in bed, Harry is still worried sick. (Also, they might get in trouble for going after a Greater Demon on their own, but right now Max looks more concerned for his brother than mad at them about the unauthorized mission.)

“Is he awake?” Iggy asks shakily, glancing between Harry and Louis' door.

“I'm sorry, he just fell asleep again.” 

Iggy's tensed shoulders slump, visibly disappointed. She must have Portaled from the Academy as soon as she learned about Louis.

Harry absently notes that she had quite grown up in this short of time. Her face is undaunted, which reminds Harry of the same quality in Louis: never intimidated or discouraged by difficulty, danger, or disappointment.

She looks up at her older brother with a hopeful expression. “Can I still come in and sit at his bedside? I'll be quiet.”

Max blinks, before nodding and ruffling her hair. “Of course, Ig. We'll both do that.”

Iggy only spares one glance at Harry before opening the door quietly. Max nods at him and claps him on the shoulder, squeezing it before following his youngest sibling.

The door closes, and Harry is left alone with his thoughts.

****

******** **

“How is he?” Zayn asks as soon as Harry enters the Sanctuary, stopping his pacing.

The Sanctuary looks like the vault of a treasure-house. There are no windows or doors, except for the one Harry had entered through. There are giant stone pillars holding up a shadowed roof, illuminated by the light of a row of burning candelabras. The pillars are carved all around with loops and scrolls of runes, forming intricate patterns that tease the eye. Huge tapestries hung down from the walls, each one slashed with the figure of a single rune.

There is a gilt-framed mirror too, making the place seem twice as large, although it is rather quite small and oppressive. A massive stone fountain rises in the middle of the room, with a circular base. In the centre stands the statue of an angel with folded wings. Rivers of tears pour from its eyes and plash into the fountain below. Harry can relate. He wants to cry too.

He closes the door behind him, facing Zayn. “He stayed awake for a bit, before passing out again. He just needs some rest, according to Brother Zachariah, but he'll be fine... He said he was fine.”

Zayn nods solemnly, face impassive. “Good.”  Although the good news seemed to truly relieve Zayn, the vampire still looks tense and disturbed.

“Was there something between you two?” asks Harry, and his eyes widening at as the words leave his mouth. He hadn't really intended to bring that up. Not right now, at least, because it definitely wasn’t the right moment, but now the words were out in the open.

Zayn peers at him, eyes flashing in the darkish room.

“Yes,” the vampire finally answers. “There used to be,” he adds a few seconds later, and Harry looks down at his feet. “It happened only a handful of times. Louis called it off a while back. I never really asked or wanted to know why, but now...” He shrugs, clearly laid-back. “Now I get it.”

Harry looks up at the vampire, who's tilting his well sculpted head to the side, squinting at Harry. “I thought parabatai weren't allowed to have this kind of relationship.”

Harry really wasn't prepare to have this conversation with an old vampire, who used to hook up with his boyfriend. (Or should he say ex-boyfriend?)

“You probably know Louis quite well by now,” Harry says detachedly with a shrug. “You know he likes to break the rules.”

Zayn's corner of his mouth tilts up into a smile. “Yeah, he certainly does...” Silence, the tiny smile fading. “Do you?”

Harry doesn't hesitate. “Not when I might lose him.” 

The vampire is quiet for a few seconds, surveying Harry with a curious, but what Harry thinks is a compassionate expression. He then speaks. “I have been alive for a long time, even at a time where your people only had started existing a century before.”

Harry arches an eyebrow. “Really?” Zayn was even older than Harry had originally thought. He may be at least a thousand years old... Harry is amazed.

“Yeah,” Zayn replies, composed, but clearly this isn’t the point of this conversation. “And in all that time, I've never seen a pair of parabatai fall in love before.”

Harry can’t help but roll his eyes, trying to not lose his cool. “Yeah, the curse,” he mumbles, crossing his arms. “I know about that.” The vampire isn’t telling him anything new.

Zayn shakes his head slowly, still staring at Harry with a strange look. “No, you don't understand.” He walks closer to Harry, eyes not leaving his. “I've seen a parabatai die before even achieving to be with their lover. I've seen one taking his own life because he was in love, but wasn't loved back. Always, it was an unrequited love... Until you and Louis.” He pauses with a frown, and his voice seems tainted with genuine astonishment. “I've never seen this until you two... Not since the ancient incident.”

Harry doesn’t reply immediately, instead ponders over the vampire’ words. “How would you know if someone who died wasn't loved back? You cannot know for sure,” he counters, raising an eyebrow.

Zayn shrugs casually. “I'm only telling you that this incident, that happened so long ago, was maybe just a coincidence. That this myth isn't well-founded.”

Harry snorts, shaking his head and dropping his arms. “You sound like Louis...”

Zayn's one corner of his mouth twitches. “Louis may be right. After all, one cannot control their feelings. Why would it be different for parabatai?”

The vampire is standing quite close to Harry, and the latter hasn't even seen him walk to him. Zayn had moved like a real vampire ninja.

Harry gulps, but stands his ground. “You know nothing about us. Parabatai are bonded for life.” His voice sounds slightly bitter, even to his own ears. He doesn’t care. “It's not good to involve romantic feelings.”

Zayn lifts one eyebrow, seeming unimpressed by Harry’s outburst. “Oh, really?” He sounds mocking, clearly not believing and agreeing with Harry.

“I was wrong,” Harry continues, trying to sound decisive. “I thought I loved him, but I don’t. The bond just amplified my feelings.” His words sound so wrong on his tongue, but he can’t stop them. “We cannot afford complications. And I cannot lose Louis.”

Zayn stares at him a moment, his gaze not wavering once. But Harry can recognise the look in his eyes, even though the vampire’s face is impassible. It’s disappointment. “Do you even hear yourself when you speak?” Zayn asks him then, tone cold. “Is that really you talking, or the Clave?” Harry doesn't answer. “Is that what you're planning on telling Louis, after he recovers?” asks Zayn with a tilt of his head, a reproachful note audible in his voice. 

Harry bristles, eyes narrowing. “My relationship with Louis does not concern you.”

“You know, if you break his heart...” Zayn starts, taking another step forward, but Harry doesn’t pull away.

“What?” he says in a huffy snort. “You'll kill me? Try. Let’s see how it works out for you.” He raises his chin, but Zayn doesn't seem the slightest bit impressed or intimidated. Maybe threatening a thousand year old vampire isn't Harry's finest idea.

Zayn shakes his head, sighing deeply, as if Harry is the most exhausting and pathetic person he’s ever met.

Harry sighs dejectedly. “I do not intend to hurt Louis. It’s the last thing I'd ever do. But I cannot lose him either.” He steps back from Zayn, signalling that the conversation is over.

The vampire observes Harry for another few seconds, from head to toe, before meeting Harry’s eyes again, nodding silently as an answer. “Send my regards to Louis.”

It feels a lot like Harry is dismissed, but it doesn't feel like this is the end of the conversation. Nevertheless, Harry is glad it is over for now. Zayn looks really imposing. And scary.

Harry nods slightly, opening the door to leave.

“Oh, and Harry Styles,” Zayn calls behind his back.

Harry looks over his shoulder with furrowed eyebrows, waiting.

“Good luck.”

Harry opens his mouth, but doesn’t verbally answer. He isn't sure what the vampire means by that, but Harry accepts it with another nod, closing the door after him.

He decides that Zayn is the strangest temperamental vampire he's ever encountered.

****

******** **

“You're going easy on me, Liam,” Louis chides his friend, rolling his eyes.

They have been doing an extra session in the training room (since the whole group is not allowed to go on another mission for now, after their unauthorised mission with the Greater Demon and all, you know). The pain in Louis' arm is now gone, and thanks to the iratze on his skin, the mark of the horn had completely vanished, to Louis' greatest pleasure. It's not that he minds having scars — after all, Shadowhunters are bound to have marks left on their skin — but it’s nice that some of them can disappear without leaving a trace.

It's been a week since the accident, and Louis has already forgotten all about it. He can’t say the same about another certain person.

Liam takes a step back, swinging his blade between his fingers with a smirk. “Or maybe I've gotten better than you.” 

Louis jumps on Liam like a bat out of hell, using his legs to make Liam fall to the floor, dropping his blade in the process. Louis retrieves the weapon, giving Liam a smug look. “You wish.”

Liam groans on the floor, closing his eyes. “I hate you.”

“No, you don't,” Louis chuckles.

He helps Liam to his feet, and they go sit on a bench for a quick break.

“So,” Louis says, opening his water bottle. “How are things going with your Russian girlfriend?”

Liam winces, looking down at his feet. “She's not my girlfriend anymore.”

Louis stops in his movement, the bottle mid-air. “What? How much did I miss while I was knocked out?”

Liam looks at him with a roll of his eyes, chuckling. “I'll have you know, this happened before the accident.” He nudges Louis' shoulder with his, a smirk now onto his face. “You’d know, if you hadn't spent all your time with Harry.”

At the mention of Harry's name, Louis almost drops the bottle. Suddenly, he doesn't even want to drink anymore. He puts the water aside, and decides to stare ahead of him, examining the pretty wall of the training room. Also, he’s starting to feel guilty for being such a bad friend. He’d been so wrapped up in his little world with Harry that he stopped paying attention to Liam.

Liam silently grimaces when he registers the name he spoke of. “I'm sorry.”

Just as Louis had expected, Harry kept his distance from him. He had started it by making a love declaration to Louis, reminding him how much he loved him, that he didn't want to lose him, and that's why they should stop what they were doing. However hard Louis tried to get some sense into Harry, the boy he loves the most is apparently very resolute to believe there is a curse. He really is convinced that it was his fault that Louis got hurt.

And Louis? Well, he is determined to prove him wrong. He doesn't know _how_ exactly, still hasn't figure it out yet, but Louis is sure of one things: he will fight for Harry.

Louis sighs, shaking his head, looking at Liam with an apologetic smile. “No, I'm sorry. That it didn't work out with your girl.”

Liam shrugs, looking away. “Eh. I’ll find someone else.” He hesitates, glancing at Louis with squinted eyes. “What really happened between you two?

Louis frowns and purses his lips. “I don’t know what you mean.” He winces to himself. That’s such a blatant lie, and they both know it.

“It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it, but I just noticed—” Liam stops, and Louis turns to look at him with narrowed eyes. He dreads the end of Liam’s sentence.

“Noticed what?”

Liam lets out a long sigh, rubbing his hands on his knees. “I mean, I'm not blind! I see the way you two look at each other. And it's nothing parabatai-y, that I can say.” 

Louis opens his mouth and closes it, once, then twice. Liam takes this as his cue to continue. “And, I mean, I've never seen you two so happy before. Well, I mean, you were always happy, but then something changed between you guys, and you were even happier! And then...” He stops again, taking a breath and staring intensely at Louis. “I know that since the incident, you two have been looking sad and miserable — no offence — and I don't like seeing my friends like this.” He pauses, face screwing up in annoyance. “And of course, I know about the Law... And the curse.”

There’s a short beat of silence, where Louis just stares at Liam, who immediately blurts out under his scrutinisation, “Okay, I might have talked to Harry a little.” 

Louis is taken aback. “You talked to Harry?”

Liam sighs with a shake of his head, a somber expression on his face. “I found him crying in his bedroom last time, of course I talked to him!”

Louis inhales deeply, heart dropping in his chest. He knew Harry wasn’t feeling happy about this situation either, but he didn’t know he cried. At least, Louis isn’t the only one feeling miserable.

He sighs, shaking his head. “I don't know what to do... I respect his decision, I really do. I know his feelings for me, and he knows mine. But if he doesn't want to have anything to do with me, then it's his choice. I respect it,” he says morosely. Even if he respects it, he isn’t happy with it. “I'd rather have his friendship than nothing at all... And as you said...” He gets up, and drops his arm when he realised he had been touching his parabatai mark. “It is the Law. Parabatai can't have a relationship, that's it.” He trails off, scrunching his nose. “The Law is hard, but it is the Law,” he says in robotic tones, with distant eyes. “And who knows,” he shrugs, slowly shaking his head as if resigned. “Maybe we're cursed, anyway.”

****

******** **

It's six in the evening and Louis is debating over ringing the doorbell or not. 

It's weird, being on Nick Grimshaw's porch without Harry by his side. He never thought he'd see this day coming. 

Hesitantly, he raises his fist to knock, but as soon as his hand is about to make contact with the door, the entrance to the house opens with no one there.

Louis frowns, peering his head inside. 

“Are you coming in or what, Shadowhunter?” Nick's voice resonates throughout the dim and empty hallway, and Louis raises an eyebrow before entering, the door promptly closing behind him.

The hallway has a green wallpaper and a wooden floor and the walls are covered with ancient photographs of Nick with various people. Louis briefly looks at them as he makes his way towards the illuminated room at the end of the corridor.

He finds Nick in the living room, stretched out on his green velvet couch. The room has coordinating wooden furniture with plush cushions. The floor is carpeted and the walls are painted with the same velvet green, and light is provided by wall lamps and a ceiling light.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Nephilim?” Nick asks, visibly in the process of eating a chocolate cake by himself. He gestures for Louis to take a seat, because Nick is always a great host, no matter how much he might hate Louis. “Cake?” 

Louis wouldn't dare to refuse. He slumps down in a single armchair and nods. Nick clasps his fingers and in the next following second, a plate materialises in Louis' hand, a piece of cake in it. 

“Did you steal that cake?” Louis asks, pulling his lips together. Warlocks usually tend to make appear stuff out of nowhere, but those things come from somewhere, and generally it means they took it from a store or something. And Louis is fairly sure Nick doesn't bake.

The warlock waves his question with a hand. “Yes, yes. But don't you worry; I let money in the checkout.”

That eases Louis' consciousness a bit, who shrugs and starts eating.

“So, what brings you here, Tomlinson?” asks Nick, sitting up and crossing his legs. He's wearing purple jeans today, with a bright red top and yellow slippers. He always dresses particularly strangely, and Louis finds it comical - in his mind, he pictures Nick, wearing vivid colours, standing besides a Zayn dressed up in all black.

Shaking himself out of his wandering thoughts, Louis clears his throat. “I just wanted to thank you.”

Nick was in the process of bringing his fork to his mouth, and at Louis' words, he instantly freezes, fork hanging in the air. He slowly makes a show of drifting his eyes from the fork to Louis, eyes wide. “I'm sorry, what?”

Louis inspires slowly, rolling his eyes. “Thank you for saving my life, the other day. You left before I could do so, so here I am.”

Nick completely drops his fork in his plate now. “Did you just thank me?” he asks with a gasping voice, a smirk on his face.

Louis rolls his eyes again. “Don't get used to it.”

“No, no! I'd like to hear you say it again.”

“I'm not saying it again, Grimshaw,” Louis puffs, finishing his slice of cake and putting it aside. “I've said all I had to say, so now I should probably go.”

But before he can do so, Nick surprises him. “I should probably apologise as well, then,” he says slowly, probably feeling reluctant to even say these words.

Louis blinks, making himself comfortable in the armchair. “Why would you apologise? Not that I don't like you babbling apologises, but still.”

The warlock curls his lip. “Actually, I do not think you deserve this apology. After all, you were knocked out when it slipped out of me.”

Louis grows confused. “What did?” Nick doesn't look at him, enthralled by his plate. “Nick—” warns Louis on an impatient tone. 

“Oh all right,” Nick says, throwing his hands in the air. “I may have told in front of everyone that you and Harry were boyfriends?” 

Louis didn't expect this. “We're not... boyfriends anymore...” Then he registers the warlock's words. “Erm, by ‘everyone’, you mean... Who, exactly?” he asks haltingly, an eyebrow raised.

Nick waves a hand. “You know, when you were unconscious in the factory, with all your fellow Shadowhunters and Zayn—”

“Ugh,” Louis cuts him off, rubbing his face. Well, at least that explains Liam's conviction about their relationship. And Zayn... 

“But at least I won my bet,” Nick exclaims jovially. “Zayn owes me.”

Louis rubs his face, then stills his hand. “ _What?_ You and Zayn bet over mine and Harry’s relationship?”

“Well, yeah.” Nick shrugs. “I bet Harry would make the first move, and from what I gathered from Rita's party, Niall, and the gossips, I was right.” Nick seems all happy and proud, and Louis wants to punch him in the face. “But Zayn thought you would make the first move, since, you know... You're usually the one breaking the rules.”

Louis snorts. He can't believe Zayn actually bet with Nick... the traitor.

“It doesn't matter anymore...” Louis says morosely.

He doesn't want to talk about this, not with Nick. They're not even friends, just acquaintances, really. But he wonders what Harry told Nick. He knew the boy was close to the warlock, but Louis didn’t really know how much. Apparently, Harry talked to Nick about Louis quite a lot, but Louis never talked that much about Harry to Zayn... So that means Harry talks to Nick, who talks to Zayn.

Oh, by the Angel.

“Listen, Tomlinson,” says Nick on a resolute tone, interrupting Louis' thoughts. The warlock sits upright on his couch with a serious face on. That doesn’t bode well. “I know the deal between you and Harry, and I know all about that parabatai shit.” Louis huffs, lips lifting upward despite him. “And I don't approve the stupid Laws. I have lived a long time, and I know Love, capital L, mind you, when I see it.”

Louis stays silent, blinking at him, incredulous. “Is this the moment where you make a speech about true love triumphing over the Law, etc.?” he huffs. “Honestly, I never thought this would be happening between us.” He sinks into his armchair, chuckling to himself. “I never thought you were a supporter of mine and Harry's relationship, Grimshaw.”

Nick rolls his eyes. “I just want my friend Harold to be happy. And I can see that his parabatai and lover _makes_ him happy,” he replies, shrugging, as if it is that simple. 

Louis looks askance. “If only the Clave thought like you.”

****

******** **

After his visit to Nick, Louis decides to take a walk in the chill London evening. 

He lets his thoughts wander, to what Nick said earlier, to Liam's words in the training room, to Harry.

Always to Harry.

He thinks of the short moment of happiness they had before the incident. He thinks that, as far as he remembers, he's never felt so happy and whole with Harry by his side, just like he wanted him to be. Harry's love makes him stronger, and almost invincible. With Harry's faith in him, Louis feels like he could beat everything, knock down every demon, and that, together, they could overcome any obstacles.

The curse, the Clave forbidding their love... Louis thinks about proving to Harry, and to everyone, that there is no curse, than parabatai can fall in love, because Louis and Harry certainly did. They fell in love even way before a piece of each parabatai's soul resided in the other, and they still were in love when they got bonded together.

Louis doesn't care what they say, he knows better. 

“Louis.”

Louis stops in his track, raising his head to face none other than Zayn Malik.

He looks around him and notices he's actually in front of the vampire's mansion, Zayn sitting on the front steps.

Louis frowns at him, quite puzzled. He hadn't even realised he was walking towards his friend's house, too lost in his thoughts. But maybe that was the doing of his subconscious. 

Zayn rises up to his feet, nodding at the door. “Come on in.”

Zayn doesn't ask what brings Louis here, he only offers him tea. “I'm sorry,” he says to Louis as they make themselves comfortable in the living room. “If I had known you were coming, I would have made Yuliana cook something for you.

Louis smiles a bit, shaking his head. “I'm not really hungry anyway.”

The vampire eyes him in silent, and Louis chooses to stare at the fire instead of facing his friend's gaze.

“How have you been?” Zayn inquires, tilting his head. “You seem to have recovered well. I’m glad.”

Louis draws in, as if the question itself was difficult to hear. “Same old, same old, you know,” he replies casually, opting for a quick glance and smile at the dark-skinned boy.

Zayn doesn't buy it. “You know,” he starts, drifting his gaze to the fire as Louis finally pores over him. “You once asked me what I was waiting for in life.” Louis does remember. Zayn hadn't answered him. “The truth is... I'm waiting for my soul mate.” He turns his head, holding Louis' gaze. “I want to live an epic love, like I've watched some of my friends have.” His tone is wistful, and Louis wants to hug him and tell him he'll find it. “You have it, Lou. Don't let it go.”

Louis opens his mouth, but does not answer. He looks down at the ground, thinking.

“And once you find it,” Zayn continues with an intent voice, his eyes pouring into Louis’, “You fight for it.”

****

******** **

Louis can't sleep, and it's irritating.

He's been tossing and turning endlessly in his bed, his mind is swirling with images of Harry, and Louis has prepared at least ten speeches for when he sees his parabatai next time.

Louis sighs for the thousandth time, in the process of turning over again, when he hears the sound of the door opening, a light illuminating his room out of nowhere. He props himself on his elbows, looking for the source of light.

And there is Harry, his tousled head appearing in the doorway, a witchlight in his left hand.

Louis blinks, sitting up on his bed, staring in silence at his parabatai. Harry's dressed in his sleeping clothes, his hair a disheveled mess of curls, and he looks adorable. Louis wants nothing more but cuddle him for the rest of his life, and he honestly doesn't know if he's dreaming, because...

Because at this very right moment, Harry looks like an angel. The white light is reflecting on his skin, making him glow in the darkened room. He looks like a warrior bearing the light, making his way through the darkness to save Louis. 

Louis makes no move. He waits for Harry to do something first.

Slowly, Harry falteringly closes the door behind him. He doesn't take a step forward, he only stands still against the door, as if he's waiting permission from Louis.

“I couldn't sleep.” Harry's husky voice is deep when it breaks the silence, and Louis hears his own heartbeat, beating so loud, he’s almost sure Harry can hear it.

“Come,” he just says. He doesn't clarify if he is giving Harry permission to just sit on the bed, or more, but he hopes Harry gets the message.

Fortunately, the boy does.

Hesitantly, carefully, Harry joins Louis under the covers, his bare legs brushing Louis', making him shiver. (Louis wonders how Harry can sleep with short pyjama pants.) It's been a while since they've touched, and Louis missed it. He wants nothing more than hold Harry's hand, wind his arm around his neck or waist, and kiss him.

But he doesn't do anything, not if Harry doesn't want to.

The curly-haired boy lays on his side instantly, facing Louis, who is resting on his side too, his arm pillowing his head. They stare at each other in silence, and it's nothing but comfortable. They don't need words to communicate, their feelings passing through their eyes. They're the only thing enlightened in the room, as Harry's witchlight is still shining bright in his hand, although the intensity is less strong, with Harry's long fingers wrapped around it. 

Harry looks so flawless, his skin looks so smooth and luminous. His eyes are shimmering and scanning Louis' face, resting on his lips for an instant before locking his gaze with Louis’.

Louis finds him breathtaking.

Harry's pale lips part slightly, and Louis can feel him breathe, a few inches away from his face...

“I love you, Louis,” Harry whispers, and it's just three words but Louis knows all the meaning behind them. They mean: _I'm sorry, I want to be with you, I love you, but I'm scared of losing you_. Louis understands.

“I love you, too,” he replies in the same tone.

And it's like the permission Harry was waiting for. He shuffles closer to Louis, head tucked under Louis' chin, who immediately wraps an arm around Harry's waist. Harry's hand finds its way to Louis' side, and his fingers caress Louis through his shirt, and they fall into darkness as the witchlight stops shining.

They don't say anything else.

Harry's breath becomes slower, and he’s asleep in minutes. Louis feels it by the way Harry's body is entirely relaxed against him, by the way Harry's grip had loosened up, and cute little snoring sounds are coming out of his mouth.

Louis tightens his embrace, kissing Harry on the head, nose tickled by the curls. “I love you, so, so much.”

****

******** **

Louis wakes up to curls in his mouth and his dick just a little bit too close to Harry's arse. 

Oh, by the Angel, this is not good. Louis really doesn't need this.

Very carefully, he tries to unwrap his arm from around Harry's waist, but the latter turns over, still asleep, snuggling closer to Louis. 

Louis internally sighs.

Harry makes a sudden noise, signifying he's waking up. Louis watches fondly (he can't help it, okay) as Harry's nose scrunches up and his eyelids flutter, breathing a little faster as he opens his eyes slowly. His face is close to Louis', and the boy blinks several times before his gaze properly focuses on Louis.

“G'mornin'...” Harry says after a yawn escapes his mouth, a little smile tugging at his lips. He rubs his face against his pillow, closing his eyes briefly. 

Louis is so endeared, this boy is too cute, he wants to cry. “Morning, babe.” He leans forward to kiss Harry on the forehead, who beams at the sweet gesture. He snuggles closer to Louis, who adjusts his arm around Harry's neck, who uses Louis' arm as a pillow.

“Thank you for allowing me to stay last night,” Harry whispers, squeezing his arm around Louis' waist.

“No problem, H,” Louis murmurs. 

They look at each other in the eyes for a few seconds, Louis too afraid to move or even breathe. It feels like they're in a suspended moment, and the room is bathed in morning sunlight, with dust particles floating in the air. It's calm, and peaceful, and right there, with his boy in his arms, is the best way to start a day. Louis wishes they could stay all bed in day, forget all about the world, forget about training or even demons, because Louis only cares about the angel in his bed.

“Lou,” Harry starts, still whispering, bottom lip caught between his teeth. He looks away, not meeting Louis' eyes, as if he's hesitating to speak further.

“What is it, Hazza?” Louis squeezes his shoulder. “You can tell me anything.”

They’re still whispering, as if they don’t want to disturb the moment they’re in.

Harry shyly looks up, eyes troubled. “I'm sorry...” At Louis' quizzical expression, he elaborates, “I'm sorry about how I acted... I freaked out.” He shakes his head to himself, looking uptight. “I know you think this curse is stupid... and you know the saying...” Yeah, Louis knows. “All stories are true,” Harry continues. “And after I almost lost you...” His voice trembles a bit, and Louis tugs the boy impossibly closer to him. “I was so scared. I thought the universe was punishing us, and I pushed you away... You didn't deserve this. Especially after you got hurt... I should have been there for you, instead of keeping myself away.”

“Harry, no, it's okay—”

“No, it's not.” He untangles himself from Louis, sitting upright on the bed. “It was stupid. I'm so stupid. But I am also so scared. I don't want to lose you. I can’t,” he exhales shakily. “I won’t—”

He's looking at Louis with wet eyes, expression broken and voice full of worry. Louis loves him so much. He sits up in turn, taking Harry's left hand in his. “You won't lose me, I promise.”

Harry shakes his head stubbornly, bottom lip pushed out, the pain in his eyes hurting Louis. “You can't promise that.” 

Louis smiles a bit despite himself. “Okay, true, I can't. But I can promise you that I will be careful. And remember our parabatai ceremony?” Harry nods. “I will _always_ protect you. Nothing will happen to us, not if I have a say in this.” He lets out a sigh, tone growing more resolved. “And I don't care about some myth, all I care about is that our feelings are real, and we are real, and nothing will tear us apart, not even the gods above, not even the Angels. Hell, not even that Greater Demon succeeded.” He lets out a dry chuckle, to appease the tension a bit. “It didn't even harm me that badly.”

Harry lets out a small chuckle, shaking his head. A tear rolls out of his left eye, and Louis drags the boy in his arms. “I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too, Lou.”

When they pull away, Harry already seems less fretful than earlier.

“You trust me?” Louis asks, cupping Harry's cheeks with his hands. Harry nods without hesitation. “Then have faith in us.”

Harry nods again, and this time his smile is less sad. “So, you forgive me? For taking my distance and being an idiot?” 

“Oh, I don't know…” Louis answers with a smirk, showing Harry he's teasing. “You are always an idiot.” At that, Harry gasps and slightly hits in his shoulder. Louis doesn't even flinch. “And you did leave me alone during training lessons, with only Liam as an opponent…. It was real torture.”

Harry chuckles. “Yeah, I imagine. It must not have been much of a challenge, because you are _so_ much better than him,” he says with a laugh, eyes crinkling.

“Damn right I am,” Louis approves with a smirk.

“Unlike me, who could beat you at any moment.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, cheeks hurting him because he can't stop smiling. He loves Harry so, so, so much. “Oh, you think?”

Harry raises his chin, putting his lip further forward. “Of course!”

“Mmmh,” Louis says, considering this argument. “Remind me? Who has killed demons the most? Oh, and that Greater Demon from last time—” he stops at Harry's shaking head.

“Oh, shut up,” Harry groans, eyes darting to Louis’ mouth. “And kiss me, you fool!” Harry doesn't even seem to care about morning breath, he lunges at Louis, and they kiss. It's a rapid and messy kiss, but a great kiss nonetheless. And Louis needed it.

Louis is fucked. This angel is going to be the death of him.

****

******** **

The first mission Louis does since the accident, he feels confident about. They just need to take care of some lesser demons, which basically refers to a demon with no identity or intellect. So no big deal, they’ve had worse.

Still, as they make their way through the forests, Liam leading the way, reading the coordinates. Louis can feel Harry’s fingers sinking into his skin.

“Haz, you’re hurting me, you know,” he whispers, afraid to break the silence of the night.

Harry’s pressure of his fingers immediately disappears, and he widens his eyes, looking at Louis apologetically. “I’m sorry,” he whispers back, rubbing his thumb against Louis’ skin to ease the pain.

Harry looks away, his eyes surveying the trees around them. Louis should be doing that too, but his entire attention is on Harry and his frantic eyes, expression clearly guarded and tense.

“It’s gonna be okay, H.”

Harry briefly glances at him with a tight smile, the unspoken words evident between them. _You can’t know that for sure._

And so Louis repeats what he has told Harry a multiple times already. “I’ll be careful. And so will you. We’re the dream team, we can do anything when we’re together.”

That makes Harry relax a bit, his smile becoming more genuine. Louis can even see the fondness on Harry’s face. He loves it when Harry looks at him like that. Like he can’t resist Louis, and… Yeah, like he loves him.

“If you two love birds are done,” Liam interrupts in front of them. “We’re here.”

Louis doesn’t miss the way Harry takes a sharp breath. His fingers lace with Harry’s, and when green eyes meet blue eyes, Louis squeezes his hand. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Harry nods.

The fight goes surprisingly quick, with only a few scratches left on their body. They send the Mantid demon right back to where it comes from, and go back to the Institute to celebrate.

Even if everything went well, Harry goes to sleep with Louis that night, curling around him, skin to skin, not a inch of space left between them, as if afraid that Louis would disappear.

Louis doesn’t mind the extra cuddles, but he knows the real reason behind it.

He whispers reassurances into Harry’s skin, and when their kisses grow longer, deeper, their hands travelling on their skin, they take it further. Their bodies forms one, their hips meet at every thrust, and the quietness of the room is only broken by their pants and moans.

They fall asleep with their mouths almost still connected, their limbs enlaced and skin against skin, in their bubble.

****

******** **

Three days later find Louis and Liam on a mission together. Louis’ head snaps to his right, narrowing his eyes at the dark corner of the abandoned place. (Why do rogue vampires always hide in abandoned places? So obvious.) His grip tightens around his blade, but nothing following the sudden noise happens.

He and Liam exchange a worried look, but they keep moving.

“So, how is it going with Harry?” 

Louis almost wants to laugh. “You always choose the best moments to discuss my love life, Liam.”

Liam glances at him with a smirk, but keeps his eyes focused in front of him. Right, the mission. “What can I say? We might die at any moment now, and I can’t go down without knowing if my best mates are happy.”

Louis stops in his track, his heart fluttering. He’s honestly touched by Liam’s words, more than he wants to let on. Liam must notices he’s stopped, because he turns around. He frowns at Louis, looking lost and worried. “What, did I say something wrong?”

Louis smiles softly. “No.” He clears his throat. “Everything’s going great.”

Liam arches an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his lips as he looks around again, on his guard. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Liam turns his warm and kind eyes to him once again. “I’m glad. I just want you two to be happy,” he repeats.

Louis can’t contain his sigh. “I wish the Clave shared the same sentiment.”

A noise brings their attention back to the mission, and then something — no, someone — flings at Liam, who reacts quickly and throws the person on the ground in a quick and efficient gesture.

It’s the vampire they’ve been tracking, a young boy with pale skin baring his teeth at them. There’s blood around his mouth, dribbling down his chin and drying on his skin, and he’s squinting at the two Shadowhunters who are towering over him, blades pointing at him.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” the vampire defends himself with a hiss.

Liam arches an eyebrow. “The trail of bodies you left behind you doesn’t work in your favour, mate.”

“You don’t know what it’s like,” the vampire shouts, not moving from the ground. He looks upset, angry. “Having this unquenchable appetite… I can’t help it!”

Louis sees Liam’s blade quivering, and he thinks he can recognise hesitation in his expression. Louis needs to take this matter into his own hand.

He takes a step forward, the tip of his blade at the vampire’s neck. “Downworlder, by order of the Clave, you are condemned to death for murdering Mundanes.”

He should have known it wasn’t going to be easy. He only has time to hear a hissing sound, before the vampire moves quickly, colliding with him, pinning him to the ground.

“Louis!” Liam yells, and then the weight on Louis is gone.

He struggles to stand up, Liam grabbing his arm to help him. Louis’ gaze scans the room in confusion, and he spots Zayn, holding something red in his hands, blood dripping... And the vampire’s lifeless body on the ground.

Louis gapes, ready to snap at Zayn, but surprisingly, Liam beats him to it. “What did you do, Z!?” Louis is more startled by the nickname than the anger in Liam’s voice.

Zayn rests his dark eyes on Liam, face impassive, and then drops the heart. “I just saved your lives. You’re welcome.”

Liam’s face has become red, staring daggers at the vampire. “He belonged to the Clave!”

Zayn narrows his eyes. “And I killed him, swiftly. Unlike what your people were gonna put him through.”

“You—” Liam stops himself, biting so hard on his lips that Louis fears he might draw blood.

Louis’ phone vibrates in his pocket, and when he is sure that Liam won’t pierce Zayn’s heart with his blade, he takes it out.

**From: H.**

**Don’t forget to dress up fancy tonight .x**

_Shit._

Louis looks up from his phone, and furrows his eyebrows when he takes notice of the close proximity of Liam and Zayn, still very much arguing.

“Hey, uh, Liam, I’m gonna head to the Institute now, okay? I have a date with Harry.”

Liam’s face snaps towards him, and Louis gulps. He knows the pure anger on his face is not directed at him, but still. Liam is a puppy, but an angry puppy is sometimes impressive. “Sure, Lou, have fun.”

“Glad the Shadowhunter got his shit together,” Zayn supplies, not averting his gaze from Liam’s.

Louis lets out a bemused chuckle and makes himself scarce.

These two are weird.

****

******** **

“What’s up, Lou?” Harry asks when Louis takes a turn in the hallway and appears. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Did you bump into Jessamine?” he teases. When Louis is a his level, he pecks him on the lips.

Louis returns it with a blink of his eyes, looking both stunned and amused. “I witnessed the weirdest thing ever at work.”

Harry tilts his head, an adorable quizzical expression on his face. “What happened? A demon?”

Louis huffs a scoff. “Oh no, it wasn’t anything like that. You know how Zayn says he doesn’t care about vampires that don’t belong to his clan, because he doesn’t want to mingle with Shadowhunters business?”

Harry nods seriously, leaning against the wall.

“Well, today, he interfered.”

Harry waits, blinks, then looks adorably confused, apparently not following or seeing what Louis is getting at. “He did?”

Louis ponders a minute, lost in his thoughts and theories. “I am actually pretty sure he was following us.”

“He was?”

“He saved us... Saved Liam.”

“He did?”

Louis fixes Harry with a slight glare. “Will you stop that?”

Harry’s mouth twitches up. “Sorry. You know, you look very hot right now.”

Louis looks down at himself. He was running late, and had put on the first fancy items of clothes his hands found. Still, he had to admit that he didn’t look half bad.

“I know,” he answers with a smirk. “You don't look bad either.”

Harry snorts and his hand finds Louis’.

“So where are you taking me?” the latter asks, deciding to drop the subject of Zayn and Liam for now.

Harry goes along with it, and gives Louis a look at his question. “That’s a surprise.”

“You know I don’t like surprises.”

“Who doesn’t like surprises?”

“I don’t.”

“Shut up.”

****

******** **

Harry takes Louis to one of the fanciest restaurants Louis has ever stepped foot in. It’s a mundane one, of course it is, so they don’t risk bumping into people they know, but it’s still amazing.

Despite the luxury of the place, it has a warm and welcoming atmosphere, almost... intimate. Their waiter leads them to a private booth at the back of the room, the walls dark and reflecting the red lights all around, as if there is blood on the walls.

So of course, the comparison makes Louis think of Zayn and Liam. But he doesn’t think too much about it, because right now he is having dinner in a fancy restaurant with the most wonderful person in the world. (Louis will get the bottom of his Zayn/Liam story either way.)

“A toast,” Harry says suddenly, raising his glass of wine.

Louis does the same, a timid smile on his face. “What are we celebrating then?”

Harry’s eyes travel to his face, full of adoration. Louis can relate. “Love.”

For some reasons, this simple word suddenly brings a lot of feelings to Louis. On one hand, he is blissfully happy, because he does love Harry, and there is no better person he sees himself spending the rest of his life with. It’s not a sudden revelation, he’s always known it. And this conviction only grew stronger when they became parabatai.

But on the other hand, what he feels is... bittersweet. He is sad, because he knows that their love, something so pure and beautiful, which should be celebrated indeed, is frowned upon by the Clave. Because they’re parabatai, because they can’t share this sort of bond. It’s forbidden, it’s dangerous.

And that also makes Louis angry. Mad, because he is tired of this stupid, old ideology. Mad, because he knows how the Clave would react. Mad, because he can’t scream on the rooftops what Harry means to him.

“Lou?”

Louis inhales sharply, the sound of Harry’s sweet voice bringing him back to the present. Harry is right here, smiling at him sweetly, lovingly, and Louis doesn’t want to waste that.

So he puts a smile on his face, as genuine as he can manage to, and clicks his glass with Harry’s.

Harry deserves the world, even if sometimes the world doesn’t deserve him.

****

******** **

Louis and Harry go on more missions together, and every time, it goes perfectly well. At some point, it goes so well that the job is almost boring, easy. Louis and Harry exchange banter while fighting the demon, while Stan, Liam and Andy groan and roll their eyes at the ‘lovebirds and their disgustingly cute public displays of affection’, whether it’s during in the middle of a fight, or back at the Institute, when they argue because of the TV, not agreeing on what to watch, or when they are undecided on which Downworlder party to go to.

One night though, it seems like everyone has had enough.

Louis is wandering in the Institute, and even if the place is enormous, it feels suddenly petite, and very much empty. He is surprised but relieved when he stumbles upon Liam on the first floor, all dressed up in black, a leather jacket on.

“Where are you going like that?” Louis calls out.

Liam stops in his track, slowly turning back to face a Louis whose hands are on his hips, looking all accusatory at Liam.

“Nowhere,” the boy shrieks in response. Louis’ right eyebrow shoots up. “Just...” He brings his hand to his neck, rubbing it. “Going out.”

Louis frowns. “With everyone else?” He had asked Stan and Andy earlier if they wanted to hang, but the boys said they had something planned. When Louis asked his brother if he wanted to play video games, Max had mumbled something about work to do and left the Institute without another word. The only adult besides Max who was living at the Institute wasn’t here either. “Where is everybody disappearing to?”

“I don’t know,” Liam replies quickly, too quickly. Louis raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know about everybody else, but I really need to go, so bye.” He swirls around.

“You’re going to see Zayn?”

Liam’s body freezes, and Louis almost regrets his words, but eh, he’s always enjoyed teasing people, especially when said people is one of his best friends, who’s apparently developing a crush.

“What!?” Liam asks, voice sounding strangely higher than usual. His back is still facing Louis.

The latter smirks. “I’ve always known you would fall for a Downworlder someday. Aw, my boy is all grown up, living a dangerous life.”

Liam turns to glare at him. “Harry is in the kitchen, waiting for you. You’re welcome.” And with that, he leaves as quickly as a vampire on the move.

Louis gapes, frowning.

When he does find Harry in the kitchen, with an apron on and all, his nostrils are filled with a heavy and sweet scent.

“You’ve been cooking!”

Harry, who was apparently in the middle of putting the final touches to a dish, visibly jumps. “Louis! You fucking scared me!” His eyes are wide, his scared expression almost hilarious.

But Louis notices the two plates only. “Did you know that everyone else was leaving?”

Harry composes himself, clapping his hands. “Yeah, in fact I did know. Everyone was kind enough to leave us, so that we could have a romantic dinner.”

“What’s the occasion?” Louis asks, smiling fondly and taking a step towards Harry. However, he stops right there when Harry glares at him.

“Lou. Are you joking?” His tone doesn’t seem angry, but more resigned and strangely amused, as if he knew Louis would forget.

“What?”

Harry shakes his head, huffing. He looks both done and in love with Louis. “It’s our four month anniversary.”

Oh.

“I did know that!” Louis quickly defends himself. “Didn’t you get my roses this morning? Four roses, for four wonderful months?”

Harry’s smile turns impossibly sweet. “I did get them. Thank you, I loved them. Come on now, sit.” He draws a chair at the small table present in the kitchen. Usually, no one ever eats at that table, but tonight, it’s only him and Harry.

Louis loves Harry. So much.

Without much surprise, everything’s Harry cooked tonight is delicious. They don’t talk about work for most part of the dinner, even though Louis can’t resist mentioning Zayn, and therefore his assumptions concerning Liam and his love life. 

“Liam Payne, breaking the rules,” Harry snickers around a spoon of strawberry cake. “Who would have thought?”

“He takes after me,” Louis says proudly.

Harry chuckles, and they’re quiet for a short moment, enjoying their desserts. But Louis notices the stiffness in Harry’s shoulder, the way his fingers won’t stop drumming on the table, the worry in his eyes.

And it kind of helps that he’s linked to Harry. He knows what Harry feels.

“What’s wrong, Haz?”

Harry meets his eyes, and he looks at Louis a moment before putting down his spoon. Louis does the same, sensing that this is going to be a serious conversation.

“I don’t want to hide,” he declares.

Louis is confused. “Hide from who? There’s no one here,” he laughs, but it dies in his throat when Harry doesn’t join him. “Harry,” he starts with a sigh, because he knows where this is going.

But Harry doesn’t let him.

“No, hear me out! I have to say this before I chicken out.” The phrase is too serious, but it makes Louis want to laugh. But he doesn’t. There’s something tight in his chest... Apprehension.

“I want to come clean to the Clave.”

Louis closes his eyes. He feared this. “Harry, you know—”

“I want to be able to marry you one day, you know.”

Louis’ mouth shuts right up at that, finally at a loss for words. Harry seems pleased with that, that he finally got Louis to shut up.

“You know you’ve always been the one to me,” Harry says with a light chuckle, a faint blush on his cheeks. His tone has gone soft, almost emotional, voice wavering with emotions. Louis gulps his own feelings. “And I can’t do that, if I can’t even be with the person that I want.”

“The law—”

“Fuck the law.”

Louis’ eyes are starting to burn, and he feels the corner of his mouth lifts up. He wants to hug Harry, squeezes him hard, and never lets go.

“They will never let us...” He doesn’t finish his sentence, doesn’t need to remind Harry, because they both already know.

So instead, Louis gets up, and decides to express what he already knows, what he feels now, and what the Clave can’t take away from them.

He kisses Harry hard, and when they make it to Harry’s room, bodies falling on top of each other on the bed, smiles and kisses pressed into each other’s skins, they promise each other the world.

And just for one night, they can pretend that everything is okay.

****

******** **

“Long time no see, Shadowhunter.”

Louis lifts his head, meeting Zayn’s eyes. He’s wearing a long black coat, and it’s so vintage and old, and so Zayn, that it makes Louis smile despite the anguish that has been following him all day.

“How long have you been waiting for?” the vampire inquires, stepping forward.

Louis shrugs. His bum hurts from sitting on Zayn’s porch for so long. “Were you with Liam?”

Zayn’s shoulders visibly shrug. “Come on in, then.”

Louis is grateful that Zayn finally arrived, because as he warms himself near the fireplace, he can hear the rain pouring outside.

He gratefully accepts the hot tea that Zayn hands him. He notices a familiar blue sweatshirt on Zayn’s divan, and when he raises an eyebrow, looking pointedly at Zayn, the vampire’s face turns blank. But Louis knows better. If Zayn could blush, he would be blushing right now. It’s been six months since Louis caught Liam sneaking off to Zayn’s. Six happy months with Harry, and six months of watching his friend experience what Louis is experiencing with Harry. Both of these situations, the relationships are different, yet it all comes down to the same problem.

Two words: the Clave.

“What’s on your mind, Lou?” Zayn asks instead of paying attention to Louis’ teasing game. He sits on the divan, putting the sweatshirt behind him, as if protecting it.

Louis wants to laugh, but instead he joins him, putting his tea cup on the coffee table. He sighs, not knowing where to start.

“Do you think... That after all these years, the Clave would just... Accept that maybe they were wrong?”

Zayn tilts his head, mouth twitching upwards. “The Clave? Admitting they are wrong?” His tone is not mocking, just tired, as if he already asked himself this question a thousand times, and the answer was never positive. “Seems unlikely.”

Louis gives him a look. “I’m serious.”

Zayn’s smile fades a little. “You mean, would the Clave accept you and Harry’s relationship, despite everything they’ve been saying about parabatai falling in love?”

Louis takes the cup back in his hands, just so that he can focus his attention on the beverage. “Yes.”

When Zayn doesn’t immediately answer, Louis decides to look up.

Then the vampire speaks. “I don’t know, Lou,” he answers genuinely. “I am not the Clave. I don’t live by their code, and I surely don’t agree with everything they say. The Law is hard, but it is the Law.” He shakes his head, scoffing bitterly. Louis sometime wonders what conflits Zayn must have had with the Clave in all these years. Zayn has never hidden his disdain for Louis’ people, and so Louis wonders if something happened once. Something personal, with the Clave. Did they hurt him? Did they punish a Downworlder that committed a crime, but was close to Zayn?

“That… doesn’t help at all,” he tells Zayn. He didn’t know what he was hoping for. He slumps his shoulders, taking a sip.

“But what I do know is that…” Zayn stops himself, looking conflicted with himself, as if he hadn’t meant to start this sentence.

That picks Louis’ interest. “What? What do you know?”

Zayn’s look turns dark, and Louis knows he is about to engage on a dangerous path. “There might be... a loophole. I don’t recommend it, but...” He searches Louis’ eyes. “You know, for you, I would do it.”

Louis frowns and tilts his head, watching the vampire closely for a moment, trying to understand what he means. And when he does, his eyes widen in realisation.

“No, Zayn,” he says breathlessly, feeling the goosebumps on his skin.

Zayn nods, as if he had known it was going to be Louis’ answer all along but he had to propose it anyway.

“I hope that you’re not gonna propose it to Liam either.”

Zayn inhales sharply, chewing on his lips. “We’ve only been together for a few months.”

Louis wants to roll his eyes. “And I know you.” He remembers that time Zayn said to Louis what he was looking for… Someone, a soulmate… Someone to share your eternity with. And as much as he loves that Liam is happy with Zayn... Becoming a vampire is a burden that Louis wouldn’t want to experience himself, nor he wants Liam to go through that.

Zayn looks like he wants to talk about anything but that. “Anyway, it was just a proposition.”

Louis shakes his head. “Becoming a vampire wouldn’t free me from the Clave, and it would only bring another complication.” He can’t even imagine living an immortal life without Harry in it. He sees the consequence of loneliness, and loss of loved ones. He’s seen it with Zayn, hell, even with Grimshaw. “Just don’t break his heart,” he says to Zayn, jumping from one topic to another.

“And don’t do anything stupid,” the vampire says, and Louis can hear the plain concern in his voice. “You know I would kill for you, even when it comes to the Clave, but I’d like us both to stay alive a little bit longer.”

Louis smiles then, letting his head fall on Zayn’s shoulder. “We deserve a bit of happiness in our lives, don’t we?”

“Yeah, I like to think we do.”

****

******** **

Louis should have never wanted to test their luck. Months of happiness, months of missions going well, and the curse pushed to the back of his mind... It was so easy to forget.

And so when everything crumbles, it hurts like hell. It even hurts more than that time a horn made its way through his skin, leaving poison in his body. That time, he thought he’d lost Harry.

And this time, he is about to lose him, too.

Louis cannot believe that, after all these months of being extra careful, this is how they get caught.

They’re in Max’s office, and admittedly this should have been enough for them to control themselves, but Louis can never resist Harry, not when the boy just got out of the shower, and he joined Louis as soon as he heard he was down there. His wet curls are plastered to his forehead, he looks like a wet puppy, and he’s laughing at something Louis said, nose scrunched up and Louis can’t help it.

He leans in, kissing Harry’s nose. And then he tempts fate some more, letting his lips travel on Harry’s skin, mouth ghosting over his right cheek, then his temple, his forehead, and back to the other side of his face, then finally, _finally_ their mouths meet, connect, fitting perfectly, as always, because that’s how it means to be, at least for Louis and Harry.

“By the angel,” someone exclaims, and the sudden voice makes them separate, wide eyes falling on the newcomer.

And it’s none other than Carrie Waybrand, the Consul of the Clave. Because if Louis and Harry were to be found out, why shouldn’t it be by the highest appointed official of the Clave.

And she knows them, of course she knows. “That’s not possible,” she says, eyes going back and forth between the two of them. “Not two parabatai.”

“Consul Waybrand,” Harry begins, because apparently he has regained the ability to speak, unlike Louis. He is scared to death, body stiff, and Harry’s hand grips his, but he looks as scared as Louis. And their bond is vibrating under all that fear. “Let us explain.”

Carry’s eyes fall on their joined hands, and she sighs, closing her eyes. “Oh, boys.”

“Louis?” 

Louis turns his head towards the door of the office, wide open as Max and their parents stand there, in the doorway. The head of the London institute is looking at Louis as if telling him, “What are you still doing here?” and if Louis had known that, after his meeting with his brother, there was another sudden gathering of some sort, he would have surely left the room as soon as he was finished with his brother.

Max stares at him, before he registers the presence of the Consul. Louis sees it when his brother realises what just happened.

“Louis,” his mother greets, her smile falling a little when she seems to understand there is some tension in the air. “W-What’s going on here?”

“You are wrong about parabatai love,” Louis blurts out, and everyone’s eyes fall on him, but he only has eyes for Carrie. “Our love doesn’t make us weaker, but stronger.”

He didn’t expect pity in the Consul’s eyes when she looks at him. “That’s the issue, Louis.” His name pronounced from her mouth has always been kind, but right now it sends shivers to his spine. She is looking at the two young Shadowhunters with an honest broken expression, and Louis fears of what’s coming. He thinks he’d rather have the entire Clave yell at him rather than see the pity on all of their faces.

Carrie looks at Louis’ parents then. “The bond between your son and his parabatai has taken a dangerous turn,” she says slowly, accenting each word. “You know what it means.”

Louis looks at his parents wide-eyed. Carrie has always been good friends with them, and even though he knows their friendship has been lasting for a while, he also knows they are all members of the Clave here, and Louis’ parents know all the implications of two parabatai falling in love.

Louis’ parents nod at Carrie’ words, their faces pale, and soon enough there are tears streaming down Louis’ mother’s face.

“You have a choice now,” Carrie continues, eyes now on the parabatai once again. “Either end this relationship right now, or face the consequences.”

“You can’t ask us to do that,” Louis snaps angrily, eyes burning. “You can’t.”

“That’s unfair,” Harry says behind him, and only now does Louis realise he’s placed himself in front of Harry to protect him. It’s natural, it’s instinct. He will always protect his parabatai, his best friend, his... soulmate.

Carrie closes her eyes, looking as if she had preferred that they chose the first option. “Then you leave me no choice.”

“Carrie,” Louis’ dad starts saying, and at least Louis knows he has his parents’ support.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” the woman says sincerely. “Sed lex, dura lex.”

“Please, you can’t,” Louis says, and he can’t control the volume of his voice, can’t control the anger. Harry squeezes his hand, so hard it could almost crush Louis’ bones, but he doesn’t care about any of this.

“Louis, Harry, this is for your own good,” the Council says. “A love bond between you two will only strengthen your power to the point of magic...” she says, and Louis remembers reading the exact same words in that old book he once found. “And Shadowhunters aren’t meant to wield such magic.” She seems to be pleading them with her eyes to understand. “So much power can only be corrupt and dangerous. All legends are true. This curse you are taught about when you’re younger... So much power can only drive you mad. You surround yourself with death and destruction, until you both die. That’s why it never ends well, with parabatai.” She stops herself, taking a deep breath. “I cannot allow you to go down that path.”

“It’s not your choice to make!”

“Louis, please,” his mother begs him, sounding panicked at the prospect of losing Louis to that possibility, or what’s about to come.

“I am asking you to reconsider your previous answer,” Carrie tells them, speaking over Louis’ mother.

Louis turns to Harry, desperate eyes finding his. Harry doesn’t look conflicted at all, because he is on the same page as Louis. They remember the promise they made on each other’s skin, all these nights ago. And at that moment, Zayn’s words resonate in Louis’ mind: _Once you find it, you fight for it._

“We’ve made our choice,” Louis says, turning back and fixing a strong gaze towards the Consull.

Harry goes to stand besides him. “And that choice is Love.”

They can do whatever they want. They can’t separate them, they just can’t. You don’t separate parabatai, because when a great distance is placed between them, it’s like feeling your heart tearing itself from your chest. It’s not the Clave’s goals. They can’t—

And yet…

Carrie takes another deep breath, and Louis and Harry’s grip tighten around each other’s hands, hearts beating fast in their chests, eyes fixed on the woman sealing their fates.

“Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, by order of the Clave, for breaking the Parabatai Law, you will be stripped of your runes.”

_No._

Louis thinks he hears his mother cry loudly, but he isn’t sure, only aware of the unfair words directed at them.

“Your runes will be removed, and you will leave the Shadow world. You won’t be allowed to have contact with any of the Shadowhunters you’ve ever known, including your family. You won’t call upon the Clave for help, and you will remain mundanes for the rest of your lives.”

“No,” Louis manages to exclaim curtly despite all the overwhelming emotions he’s feeling right now. Being expelled from your world is one thing, but being stripped of your marks? It apparently hurts so much than you end up losing your voice after so much screaming. “No, don’t do this to Harry! Do it to me! Only me! Please!”

Harry squeezes his hand hard. “Louis,” he croaks, and when Louis turns to face him, tears are streaming down his face. “Stop it.”

“No, stop it, Harry!” His voice sounds awful, tears making it so hard to speak, to see. “You won’t be able to see your family! They—” Louis looks at his parents, at Max. Oh god, will they even let Louis say goodbye to Iggy? “They aren’t even here!” He turns to Carrie. “Take my runes away, but not Harry’s!”

“Louis,” Harry says again, much louder. “Together, or not at all.” His tone is decisive, his eyes fierce despite the water gathering.

“Harry—”

“I love you, I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”

Louis is a pathetic mess at this point, and he doesn’t even care. Not even if he is the most vulnerable at this instant, not even if, in front of them, the woman is taking their life away.

“Together, or not at all,” Harry repeats, and Louis manages to nod, squeezing Harry’s hand as strongly as he can.

He turns to his parents, his brother. “Tell Iggy I’m sorry, and I love her.”

His mother is in her husband’s arms, and Max is crying, face red, looking like he wants to punch Carrie and hug Louis. It’s funny, Louis has never seen his brother cry, and he wishes he wasn’t the cause.

“Louis, Harry,” Carrie says regrettably, and Louis almost believes her, but she’s still fucking going through with it. “I am sorry.”

“Save it,” he cuts her off bitterly. “The Law is hard, but it is the Law, right?”

He’s never hated more being a Shadowhunter until now.

And funnily enough, his Shadowhunter life ends now.

****

******** **

“What are we gonna do?” Harry asks, lips shivering. Louis doesn’t know if it’s because he’s still crying, or because of the rain drenching them.

They’re standing in front of the London Institute, or rather, where the building must be standing. They don’t see it anymore. It’s glamoured, and now they don’t have their runes, now they’re out of the Shadow world, they see the world like Mundanes...

But they know what truly lies beneath the shadows. They won't forget. And they won’t forget that, besides night creatures and demons, Shadowhunters can be the worst of them all. Suddenly, Louis understands the hatred Zayn has always felt towards their old kind.

Louis’ head snap towards Harry, hit by an idea.

“Zayn…”

****

******** **

When Zayn opens the door, Louis doesn’t even need to explain what happened. He sees that the vampire understands as soon as he looks at their faces still wet with tears, when his brown eyes travel down their bodies and don’t see the usual marks, the runes gone.

Louis sees Zayn’s whole body tense, and when the vampire steps aside to let them in, Louis’ body relaxes, and hand-in-hand with Harry, they enter.

They are glad to see that Liam is not there. That will save them the pain of saying goodbye. Although, it hurts not to do so.

However, Zayn is not alone. Nick is there, sipping on a tea, a big smile on his face. When he takes into account their appearances, it all connects in his head.

“I hate them, always have,” the warlock only says, tone dangerously calm despite the clear anger on his face.

They don’t say anything, and Louis wraps Harry in a warm blanket. His movements are slow, brain still processing what happened today. When he woke up this morning, he was still a Shadowhunter. His life was his life. And now, everything has changed.

“Let me,” Grimshaw says, waving a hand before snapping his fingers. Louis feels his body gradually warm up, and he realises his clothes are no longer soaked, magically all dry, and same goes for Harry.

Harry looks completely devastated, staring into space with that broken look in his. It is so painful to watch. It doesn’t suit him. Louis wants to fucking fight everyone.

“Grimshaw...” he starts to say, because he knows he shouldn’t ask what he’s about to ask, but eh, the Clave can’t punish them any more than they already have. “Portal us to Harry’s parents’ house. Please.”

Harry’s head snaps up, sad eyes meeting Louis’.

Grimshaw nods without an ounce of hesitation.

****

******** **

There’s more tears coming from Harry, but at least he is in his parents’ arms, and he gets to tell them what he wants to tell them.

Louis watches the heartbreaking scene retreated. However he is taken aback when Harry’s mom, a woman he’s known forever, takes him in her arms as well, and cries for him too, her second son. “Take care of yourselves,” she weeps against his shoulder. “Take care of my baby.”

Louis closes his eyes forcefully, the tears falling down anyway. “I will.”

****

******** **

“Tell me what I can do,” Zayn whispers.

Louis and Harry are back at Zayn’s, Nick still present. They are all sitting in the living room, the Downworlders occupying each a loveseat while Louis and Harry share the couch, Harry sitting between Louis’ legs, back against his torso. Louis’ arms are proactively wrapped around his boy, his chin resting on Harry’s shoulder.

“You know if you ask me to kill, I will,” Zayn says.

“Don’t be stupid,” Louis scoffs. “Last thing I want is my best friend to be sent to his death by those fuckers.”

There’s a moment of silence, only disturbed by the fire creaking in the fireplace. Louis loses himself in the contemplation, until Grimshaw speaks up.

“What are you guys going to do?”

“Live like Mundanes, I guess,” Harry replies, chuckling. It’s a humourless laugh, a resigned one.

Truth is, they have no idea of what they are going to do. They need to start over, find jobs, and live their lives far away from their families.

“I can help with that,” Zayn offers when Louis elaborates the obvious suggestions, the challenges lying ahead of them. “I can provide you money.”

“No, Zayn, we can’t accept that,” Louis refuses, shaking his head.

“It would be just for the start! I have plenty of money I don’t use,” Zayn insists, barely letting out a scoff.

“Money won’t erase what happened,” Harry whispers sorrowfully.

“It sure can help,” Zayn mumbles, and Louis is grateful that the vampire drops it, doesn’t start a fight, because they both know Harry doesn’t need this.

“I have a suggestion…” Nick says after a beat of silence. Three pairs of defeated eyes turn to him. “I am not saying you’re gonna like it… And it’s going to be complicated for me to do such a spell… But… If you want, I could try.” Louis and Harry exchange a confused look, brows furrowed. The warlock takes a breath. “I know what’s it’s like, to lose your family.” He glances at Zayn. “ _We_ know what it’s like. We wouldn’t wish that, even upon our greatest enemies. But there’s something I can do, to help...”

Harry uses his hands on Louis’ knees to straighten up - Nick had his attention. Louis is all ears too, sharing a look with Zayn.

And so Grimshaw tells them.

It’s the craziest thing Louis has ever heard, probably the most desperate thing to do, but that’s what they are.

Desperate, hurt, betrayed.

They wanted to be together, and their love had a price.

Now it is time to pay it.

****

******** **

**Two years later**

Liam’s foot won’t stop stomping, and he is aware of it, but he cannot help it.

He’s standing in front of a school, a Mundane school. He’s standing rather far away, unlike a certain young man, standing near the gate. The young man can’t seem to stay still, pacing the square in front of the school. There’s a constant smile on his face. He seems so happy, unable to contain his joy and excitement. He wants to share news with someone, someone he is waiting for, someone who is inside that school.

“Class is almost over,” a voice says behind Liam.

Liam doesn’t even startle. Even if Zayn moves silently, Liam always hears him, even when it is in the middle of the night, even when it’s front of a school with people — Mundanes — chatting loudly, animatedly, living their life, without knowing what the world is really like.

“I know,” he answers simply. He can hear the nervousness in his voice.

“You know you can’t talk to them, right, babe?”

Liam closes his eyes. When he opens them, Zayn is in front of him, standing close, the tip of his shoes touching Liam’s. The Shadowhunter can see the delicate and beautiful eyelashes on the vampire’s face, the concern and sadness in his eyes.

“I know.” Liam looks back at the young excited man a few feet away. “Even if I wanted to, they wouldn’t remember me.”

Just as Zayn takes his hand in his, intertwining their fingers, the doorbell rings loudly. In a matter of second, kids are exiting the building, children running towards their parents, some teachers leaving.

One young familiar man, with short feathery hair, goes through the main gate. And then the young man from before is in his arms, yelling, “I got the job, Lou!”

Liam watches with a smile as Louis yelps, a grin on his face as he whirls Harry around in his arms, not even bothered by the look of people around them. Most of them seem to be smiling, and a man of their age, probably Louis’ colleague, taps Harry on the shoulder, congratulating him. It’s weird to Liam, seeing his best friends with other people, living another life...

“We have to celebrate,” Louis exclaims happily, still laughing. “Let’s celebrate!”

Harry nods eagerly, wrapping an arm around Louis’ waist as they walk away in perfect synchronisation, blinding grins on their faces. They look so happy, so carefree. Even if it hurts, it makes Liam immensely happy to see his best friends like that.

They walk by past Zayn and Liam, and it takes everything in Liam not to go after them. Even if he tried, Zayn’s hand is still holding his.

“I am sorry, Liam,” the boy whispers, wiping a tear on Liam’s face. He hasn’t realised he was crying. “I warned you—”

“I know, I know,” Liam rushes to say. He knew. “I know,” he repeats, sniffling. “Still hurts a little.”

Zayn wraps an arm around his neck, dragging him into a tight hug.

“Hurts a lot,” Liam rectifies, words muffled. Zayn still hears him.

When Liam had learned about Louis and Harry, he was glad that he had no parabatai to be linked to. Otherwise, they would have felt the way Liam’s heart broke at that instant. He was mad that the Clave had done this, mad that he couldn’t even say goodbye, and sad by that same fact, sad that he was never going to see them again.

When he learned what Nick Grimshaw had done, he had been even sadder, and madder.

“It was their choice,” Nick had yelled when Liam started threatening to report him to the Clave, although he really wasn’t going to. Nick knew it.

“But you suggested it!” Liam insisted, still wrapping his mind around what he had learned.

Nick Grimshaw, always coming up with insane ideas, had told Louis and Harry that he could take their pain away, by erasing some memories, and implant some new ones. They would forget they even had parents, would simply live their lives without their hearts aching to reunite with their families, their friends. They would know nothing about the Shadow world.

And the warlock had more than one trick up his sleeve. He would provide them a real past, a successful path opened to them, and with Zayn’s fortune? They wouldn’t encounter too many problems. They can have the life they want to, and they can be happy.

And Liam? Liam now can only witness it from afar.

Somehow, Liam envies them.

Louis and Harry no longer remember a single thing from the Shadow world, and if they ever happen to find themselves in danger someday, they will always have guardians watching over them.

A shadowhunter, a vampire, and a warlock.

And even if it hurts Liam to let them go, he is happy for them.

Sed lex dura lex… The Law is hard, but it is the Law.

At least, now they’re free.

Free to live, free to love.

**Author's Note:**

> Erm… Hi? So, I guess that’s what you call a bittersweet ending, right?
> 
> I’ve thought a lot about the ending for Louis and Harry… And in the end, for me, this was the right one.
> 
> As I said in the notes at the beginning, there’s that series called “Lady Midnight” that deals with the main character being in love with her parabatai, so I really wonder how the author herself is gonna approach this whole forbidden love thing.
> 
> But to this day, I still haven’t read the second book, and I didn’t want to get influenced for this fic, or get spoiled.
> 
> So I am going with this ending.
> 
> HOWEVER, I could always get back to this fic with an alternative ending, who knows. I will see once we finally have the answers to our questions.
> 
> Until then, xoxo.
> 
>  
> 
> **Thank you for reading, hope you liked it.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Kudos and comments would be very much appreciated!**
> 
>  
> 
> **Go read my other fics. Of course, it's not an order. Just an advice. Please. Pretty please? :D**
> 
>  
> 
> **[Click[here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/larrycaring/pseuds/larrycaring/works) to see and read all my other works!]**
> 
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> 
> **Twitter:**  
> [@larrycaring](https://twitter.com/larrycaring)  
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